This video seems at first to be the usual bizarre Glenn Beck chalk-talk, but there's a surprising twist. Glenn Beck says those sexual assault charges against Assange are bullshit! That's a bold move for Beck, and demonstrates some integrity on his part, because the Beckster hates Assange, and many of Beck's fellow conservatives figure that the charges are actually a useful way to get rid of His Paleness. Bucking the conservative trend, Beck actually dug in and tried to find and report the truth, albeit in his own nutty way.

Here's the real capper - Keith Olbermann has made very similar points.

As for me, I don't know jack sprat about any of this, but I'm kinda surprised to find out that Assange is having sex with women. I kinda figured him for a dresser full of tear-soaked Judy Garland albums.

Democrats wanted more spending. Republicans wanted lower taxes. They both got what they wanted, so we'll have less money to spend, but we'll spend more.

"Kim Jong-il is registered with the Writers Guild of America under the pseudonym 'Roland Emmerich'

Threats and aid offers equally ineffective in forcing Vladimir Putin to put a shirt on during diplomatic negotiations"

Early front-runners: Colin Firth, Helena Bonham Carter, Christian Bale or Geoffrey Rush, Natalie Portman. Likely Best Picture noms: The King's Speech, The Social Network, Inception ...

Cosell: That drive was inexorable.

Dandy: Not only that Howard, it was mighty hard to stop.

Can't blame 'em. They were Julia Roberts films. Any sensible country would have done the same.

(They were actually South Korean films.)

"So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!

Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California!

But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children will be able to join hands and sing "Tweet at last! Tweet at last! Thank God Almighty, they can tweet at last!"

... as people have done from time immemorial. Why do you think they call it a woody?

I can definitely get into a wood fetish. I used to be into puppet-fuckin'. Unfortunately, I had to give up marionettes because of the splinters.

There were other problems as well. In retrospect, I probably should have known that wooden sex dolls wouldn't be compatible with my pet woodpeckers.

I've switched to Muppets now. The birds ignore them, and they are made of felt, which is mighty easy on the schwanz.

There is an unfortunate side effect to felt-fuckin', however. I get an erection when I see a pool table.

It's sorta uncomfortable when I go to our local strip club and the other guys want to face the stage, but I turn my chair toward the billiard room.

It's just the latest salvo in the war on Christmas!

"The government has spent $120 million to produce money it cannot use."

"Harold Smith, the man who shot himself as police approached him last week, 'probably has no connection' to Chasen's murder."

Gosh, Chelsea is a classy dame!

She has a specialty!

Helen, you went full Gibson, man. Never go full Gibson. You don't buy that? Ask Hitler, "WW2," Remember? Went full Gibson, went home empty handed ...

It will be next to impossible for any government, or coalition of governments, to completely shut down a site like WikiLeaks, which is generally supported by the internet community. The process would be like playing Whack-a-Mole. The complete site, down to the last comma, is currently mirrored on 355 different URLs in dozens of different countries, and I assume that number will keep increasing. It has probably already increased since I typed that sentence. Anybody who wants to see those 250,000 cables can get to them.

NOTE: I'm not saying that the site should exist, but simply that it will exist. And dat's da name o' dat tune.

Auburn did finish #1. They took over the #1 spot on the Harris poll. That move, coupled with their dominance in the computer systems, kept them on the top of the pack overall. Oregon finished a very close second in the combined ratings, and finished first in the coaches' poll.

3-4-5 are TCU, Stanford, and Wisconsin. Wisconsin therefore gets the official tie-breaker in the Big Ten and will go to the Rose Bowl.

There was unanimous agreement on which were the top two teams, in the sense that all six of the computer schemes and both human polls placed Oregon and Auburn in those two slots. It was kind of interesting to see who the computers placed at #3. Three of the six computer systems pointed to undefeated TCU, but two identified Arkansas, and the other one landed on Oklahoma.

Here are the official bowl pairings, with analysis.

They have set up a press conference to announce the trade, but the Sox are worried about his recent shoulder surgery, so at this moment they aren't willing to come close to the deal Gonzalez wants until they can properly assess his physical condition.

Why is this a big deal? Because he has thrown 11 interceptions in his past three games. From 2003 through 2006, he never threw as many as 11 interceptions in a YEAR.

Manning is not really slumping, at least not that much. He's forcing the passing game to provide all the team's firepower. His team essentially has the worst rushing game in the league, so defenses are able to key on Manning. To make matters worse, they also have essentially the worst rushing defense in the league (the Cowboys outrushed them 217-40), meaning that the once-mighty Colts are now 6-6, although they might still sneak into the playoffs because no team in their division is better than 7-5.

That division is still more impressive than the NFC West, which might not produce a team with a winning record. Unless the Rams or Seahawks can pull off some big upsets in the next month, they might face each other with 7-8 records on the last game of the season. That would normally be a "who cares" game, except that if it happens in this case, the winner would go to the playoffs!

The ugly circumstances:

• There was no new movie in saturated release.
  
  
• The only one in fairly wide release was that "cowboy vs ninja" film.
  
  
• Each of the carry-overs dropped 40% or more
  

The result was the least attended post-Thanksgiving weekend in theaters since the Pilgrims acted out Hamlet for the Indians. Or at least since 1997. The top eight films comprised the same group as last week since the cowboy/ninja classic barely registered at all. As expected, Tangled fell less than Harry Potter, and thus emerged as the #1 film in its second week after having failed to reach that pinnacle in its debut. Those two films took in about as much as the rest of the top ten added together.

The Black Swan had a strong debut in 18 theaters. It produced the week's highest average per location.

Last week's "per location" champion, The King's Speech, continued to impress in its trial run. It was in the same number of theaters as I Love You, Phillip Morris, but grossed three times as much, even though it was in its second week and Phillip Morris was debuting.

The normal release pattern resumes next week with two saturated releases: The Tourist (Depp/Jolie) and the second Narnia film.

Some of them are just awesome demonstrations of athleticism, but the one to watch is that Chris Paul video. I think there must have been some dust in my eyes when I watched that one. Watch it. You'll see why.

It was a week of anticlimax. South Carolina had been considered a major stumbling block on Auburn's path to the championship game, but they were absolutely crushed by Auburn. In fact, South Carolina had more luck with General Sherman than with Cam Newton.

Meanwhile, Oregon State was no match for their intrastate rival, so it will be Auburn/Oregon in the big show. My guess is that Auburn will probably go in as #1, but that's essentially meaningless. The real #1 will be whichever team wins.

Everyone in government has gotten a chance to "pull a Louie" over these cables: "I am shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!"

Somebody in our State Department believes Sarkozy is a douchebag? No! Next you'll be telling me that some of our diplomats think Ricky Martin is gay.

Yeah, maybe because they are diplomats, they call him a "cleansing agent" in public, but we all know what kind of cleansing is involved.

You want to impress me? Find me someone in the world (besides Carla Bruni) who DOESN'T think Sarkozy is a douchebag.

I was surprised to see that seven of the ten are in California, and that Gary, Indiana didn't even make the list!

They are not completely abandoned - which only makes them that much scarier.

I guess that, like most of us, you have wondered what it would be like if a bunch of D-list celebs remade "We Are the World," except singing "Let It Be," and promoting Norwegian TV instead of awareness of African hunger. They are lip-synching to the Ferry-Aid version of "Let It Be." C'mon, who doesn't want to see George Costanza and Tubbs from Miami Vice try their hand at lip-synching? Well, they have tried. In a moment, the results of that trial:

Maybe you'd prefer to see some D-list celebs actually lip-synching "We Are The World." We have that as well:

I think it's safe to say he's learned his lesson!

He had no cocaine, so he was trying to throw inspectors off the track with his name, but they saw right through him ... er .. so to speak.

That would be huge. Adrian is one of the five best hitters in baseball, although his numbers at Petco obscure that fact. Why would the Padres act? The Pads know that they won't be able to afford the star when he becomes a free agent next year, so they hope to get some value for him now.

Well, it is called a CELL phone.

By the way, Manson is in jail because he convinced other people to kill for him, so we may not want him communicating with the outside. He made calls and sent text messages to people in California, New Jersey, Florida and British Columbia before officers discovered the phone.

The top eleven films in alphabetical order: Another Year, The Fighter, Hereafter, Inception, The King’s Speech, Shutter Island, The Social Network, The Town, Toy Story 3, True Grit, Winter’s Bone

Many people believe that the beloved Chicago icon is the best player not in the Hall of Fame, excluding those not eligible and those tainted by steroids. His "Wins Above Replacement" calculation supports his Hall candidacy. Over the course of his career he was as valuable or more valuable than many Hall of Famers, and I don't mean just the marginal guys like Joe Tinker and Highpockets Kelly, but solid guys who unquestionably belong there. His career value is virtually equal to that of the following men: Willie McCovey, Al Simmons, Duke Snider, Home Run Baker, Goose Goslin, Yogi Berra, or Santo's famous teammate, Ernie Banks. That's definitely the right level.

He played with a vengeance. In the first three quarters he scored 38 as the Heat built a 95-65 lead.

Why? It's explained by one word: "cunnilingus"

The trailers are included at the linked story.

"cited Assange for his 'Tireless efforts in creating and distributing over 15,000 blasphemous cartoon images of Mohammed, as well as single-handedly writing the Stuxnet virus that crippled Iran's nuclear program - all while defiling over 50 Muslim virgins.'"

"A robot met its end near Coors Field tonight when the Denver Police Department Bomb Squad detonated the 'suspicious object,' bringing to an end the hours-long standoff between police and the approximately eight-inch tall figurine."

With a picture of the terrifying object!

"Sadly, only eight people survived the flood in Noah's time," he said. "The number of people that are going to be saved is going to be very small."

All of you who will be saved will obviously not be needing any money after that point, so please send it all to me.

"You changed the face of cinema. I just wish cinema would return the favor."

That has a lot of potential but, as always, it will boil down to the script. I like those guys, but no amount of personal charm can salvage a crappy script. Check out Solaris if you doubt my word.

Actually, as crazy as Dennis Rodman was, he had that much talent as well. He is to rebounds as Babe Ruth was to home runs. Of the eight best rebounding seasons in professional basketball history, Rodman has seven of them. That fact would be astounding enough if he were 7'2", but it is rendered superhuman by the fact that he is only 6'7"!

And his teams won. Rodman played in 169 post-season games - more than Bill Russell or Larry Bird or Wilt Chamberlain, almost as many as Michael Jordan himself.

But he surely had the crazy to match!

This is floating around the internet, but there is no authentication of it. The only real reason to think it is Miley is because somebody said so, and a gazillion other people repeated it, but the internet group 4chan did a bit of research and concluded that it is genuine.

"So what if her SAT scores are less than her weight and she can't point to the earth on a map of the earth. So what if she'd steal the last carrot from a starving farmer, re-brand that carrot a KardashianKarrot, then sell it back to the farmer in exchange for his soul. There are (at least) two things you can never take away from Kim Kardashian. Enjoy them."

"A man described as a suspect in the slaying of veteran Hollywood publicist Ronni Chasen fatally shot himself at a Hollywood apartment house Wednesday evening as Beverly Hills police were serving a search warrant there. When police approached the man at the lobby of the apartment complex, he backed up and refused their orders to raise his hands. He then pulled out a pistol and shot himself in the head."

No, he's not planning to host a tour full of comics. He's planning to be the comic. Only two things stand in his way:

He can't remember his jokes.

He can't stand up.

I tend to associate parfumiers with interior designers and fashionistas, which is to say I imagine them throwing off the wrong foot and shooting foul shots underhand, thus causing the gym class to laugh at them, whereupon they run to their butlers and cry for some comfort food. So you can imagine my surprise to discover that these Lancome dudes actually seem to appreciate the female body.

Yeah, those were the good times!

It probably doesn't bother him much, since he got that in addition to the death penalty.

His lawyer: Lionel Hutz

Jay Leno says he was home-schooled.

Alicia Keys, Justin Timberlake, Jennifer Hudson, Kim Kardashian, Swizz Beats, Elija Wood, Usher, Serena Williams, Ryan Seacrest, Daphne Guinness, Jay Sean, Kimberly Cole, and David Lachapelle are among those who have taken to their coffins prematurely to make a difference.

Hey, that ain't a wand!

"Expensive placebos are more effective than inexpensive placebos"

There are no new wide releases this week. Presumably Tangled will take over the #1 spot from Harry Potter.

One new film, The Warrior's Way (unreviewed; trailers), will make it about halfway to "wide" (1500 theaters), but ... well, it's a Korean martial arts flick featuring cowboys and ninjas, so ... meh. It's expected to take in less than $6 million dollars. It might sneak into 5th place. Or not.

A supernatural thriller named Dead Awake (trailer) will be in 50-75 theaters. "Dylan, a young man working at a funeral parlor, is trying to unravel a mystery that shattered his life ten years earlier. After faking his own funeral to see who will show up, he befriends a mysterious street junkie and is reunited with an old love from his past. The lives of these three characters are transformed by supernatural forces as Dylan discovers that no one is who they seem to be."

All Good Things (trailers) will appear in NY and LA. It's based on the story of Robert Durst, scion of the wealthy Durst family, who was suspected of killing his wife, who disappeared in 1982 and was never found. He was never brought to trial. It is an ambitious film, but has received mixed reviews (45% positive).

Some of the year's prestige pics will get mini-distribution. I Love You, Philip Morris (82% positive reviews; Jim Carrey in the true story of a famous gay con man; trailer) will be in something like six theaters. The Black Swan (86% positive reviews; some Oscar buzz for Portman as a ballet star; trailers) is slated for a whopping 19 theaters.

Here's the Rotten Tomatoes link for the week.