Dave Barry’s Annual Christmas Gift Guide
You can't go wrong with the TRAILER-HITCH-MOUNTED STRIPPER POLE
or the EMERGENCY UNDERPANTS DISPENSER
"Picture this scenario: A business executive calls a longtime employee into his office and says: 'Fred, I have to let you go. If you feel this news will cause you to soil yourself, feel free to take a pair of spare underpants from this box.' This is exactly the kind of heartwarming gesture that makes the holidays what they are. This year, give the precious gift of peace of mind. Give emergency underpants."