Sunday, May 15, 2016

Donald Trump’s Greatest Achievement - his performance in "Ghosts Can't Do It"

Donald Trump’s Greatest Achievement - his performance in "Ghosts Can't Do It"

"Bo Derek is even a worse actress than John Derek is a writer, and that’s saying something."

I take umbrage at that. While Bo Derek will never take any work from Dame Dench, nobody has ever been worse at anything than John Derek was at writing, possibly excepting Eddie the Eagle. Derek scripted three films which were released in the 1980s, and the BEST of the three (Fantasies) is rated 3.0 at IMDb. The other two are Bolero (2.8) and Ghosts Can't Do It (2.3). Actually I just thought of another exception. Derek was as bad at directing as he was at writing. He also directed those three masterpieces of world cinema, along with Tarzan, The Ape Man (1981; 3.2 at IMDb), another classic from the Bo Derek oeuvre.

Submitted for your approval: the plot summary for Fantasies:

"16-year old Anastasia and her adopted brother Damir live on a Greek island with their pervy grandfather. She dreams about having a large antique bathtub. They begin to fall for each other."

Heavy stuff!

Fantasies was actually lensed in 1973, but was considered utterly unreleasable until Bo became a hot property after the release of 10 in 1979, at which point it became a curiosity piece as Bo's first film.

One thing John Derek was good at was seduction. He made love to some of the most beautiful women that ever walked, including Bo, Ursula Andress, and Linda Evans. He liked 'em young. Andress was 19 when they became lovers, Bo was 16 or 17.

An interesting theory: is there a correlation between being good at seduction at bad at directing? The French version of John Derek was Roger Vadim, who was linked at various times to Brigitte Bardot, Jane Fonda and Catherine Deneuve. Like Derek, he made crappy movies featuring his beautiful lovers. Although he churned out trash at a prolific pace, Vadim was not as bad a director as John Derek, but then again, you could say that about just about anyone except Ed Wood and Uwe Boll. A comparison to Derek makes Brett Ratner seem like the second coming of Tarkovsky.

3 comments:

  1. This has what to do with Donald Trump, Scoop?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Trump was in the film "Ghosts Can't Do It"

    ReplyDelete
  3. He was? Wow. I'll have to re-watch that one!

    ReplyDelete