Sunday, July 17, 2016

Dave Barry: Coming to the GOP convention: Naked women!

Dave Barry: Coming to the GOP convention: Naked women! (We are not making this up)

"A large sector of the Republican party establishment had to bow out of the convention at the last minute when it remembered that it had a haircut appointment. Currently the highest-ranking elected Republican official here is Arthur A. 'Bud' Klampf, deputy vice mayor of Ant Mound, Arkansas, who is scheduled to deliver what has been billed as “a major prime-time address, assuming he can locate his dentures.”

"Trump has chosen as his running mate Mike 'Mike' Pence, who is the governor of Illinois or Indiana or possibly Iowa — it’s definitely a flat state beginning with 'I' — which means the Republicans will have a balanced ticket consisting of both a white male billionaire and a white male non-billionaire. Something for everybody!"

"Also apparently there will be naked women. I am not making this up. These women will be part of a 'group photographic art installation' created by the well-known international artist Spencer Tunick, who became famous by — Do not try this at home — talking large groups of people into getting naked for free and then taking pictures of them. According to his website, Spencer is seeking 100 women to get naked in Cleveland and point 'large mirror discs' at the convention center. The idea, as you have no doubt already surmised, is to 'suggest that women are a reflection and embodiment of nature, the sun, the sky and the land.' Rest assured that, as a trained journalist with a keen professional interest in nature, I will make every effort to cover this important story. I will also, time permitting, try to check in on the Republican convention."

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