Dave Barry's funny Holiday Gift Guide 2017
"The holiday season is all about traditions, but these traditions differ from country to country around the world. For example:
▪ In Denmark, it’s traditional, on Christmas Eve, to fill a bathtub with oatmeal.
▪ In Russia, rural families observe the holidays by dressing a live sturgeon as a dental hygienist.
▪ In Bolivia, children place their shoes next to the fireplace at bedtime; when they fall asleep, the parents sneak out of the house and check into a resort hotel for several weeks.
In the end, the most important holiday tradition of all is the tradition of buying things whether anybody needs them or not. And when you’re talking about things that nobody needs, you’re talking about our annual Holiday Gift Guide."