Day: August 16, 2018
The Mets (??!!) scored 24 runs today
That’s their franchise record.
It was one of the few highlights in what has been a dismal year for the team, which is in fourth place in a five-team division, and always seems to have half the squad on the DL. Their offense has been so weak that their staff ace, Jacob de Grom, has been able to amass no better than a 7-7 record, despite leading the major leagues in ERA.
Their most consistent player has been an unheralded reserve outfielder named Brandon Nimmo. Who?? Well, whoever he is, I must congratulate their scouting staff on Finding Nimmo. (I apologize for that line. Irresistible impulse.)
The offensive explosion also provided one of the few seasonal highlights for Jose Bautista, who knocked in seven runs. He was once one of the most feared hitters in the game. In 2010 Bautista knocked 54 over the fence in the AL. The following year he hit 43 homers, adding a spectacular .447 on-base percentage. He finished in the top five in the MVP balloting in each of those seasons. But those days now seem so long ago. Ol’ Joey Bats is definitely in the twilight of his career, perhaps past the twilight and all the way into darkness. He has battled to stay over the Mendoza line the past two seasons.
The Pentagon has “postponed” Trump’s military parade
I’m guessing they mean they are hoping Trump will forget about it. According to the most recent estimates, the parade will cost more than ninety million simoleons.
That time Stephanie McMahon ripped Sable’s top off.
With slo-mo of Sable’s bare chest.
“Furious Trump told advisers that he wants Jeff Sessions to arrest Omarosa over her book”
NOT The Onion. This one is real.
Lara Trump offers Omarosa a cushy job to keep quiet.
It still hasn’t sunk in to the Trumpites that Omarosa was taping everything. Omarosa released a tape backing up her story, as recounted in her book.
Lara then tried yet another lie, claiming that the tapes were edited or out of context, whereupon a producer from MSNBC pointed out that Omarosa had released the full version of very conversation, but that they had condensed the tapes for broadcast by eliminating irrelevant or mundane details.
I have to admit that I underestimated Omarosa. She has really outfoxed everyone, knows exactly how to manage the news cycle, and seems to be able to back up everything she says with irrefutable evidence.