Rudy Giuliani tweeted about “Lindsay” Graham: “He voted for Justices Sotormayor and Kagen on old fashioned principles. I also did.”

OK. I admit that people claim all kinds of shit. Scoopy’s First Law of the Universe is this: No matter how stupid any idea is, there will be many people who believe it, and even take credit for it. Some even claim ice dancing is a sport.

This claim, however, is so far from reality that nobody has even been able to figure out what the hell Rudy is talking about. When would he have had a chance to vote for the confirmation of Supreme Court justices? He has never been a Senator. Mayors don’t get a vote.

Furthermore, he misspelled the names of both judges, plus Graham’s first name. (Not to mention the word “old-fashioned.”)

The only thing people have been able to deduce is that “Lindsay” and “Justices Sotormayor and Kagen” must be three people from an alternate universe into which Rudy has found a portal, and has become a Senator. It’s almost like our universe except for three things:

spelling is slightly different

everyone good here is evil there

Spock has a beard.


Note: do not confuse Scoopy’s First Law with Scoopy’s Prime Directive, which goes as follows:

If you are making a movie and are certainly going to get an R rating for violence (or cussing), load up on breasts, because no quantity of breasts will earn you an NC-17. It will be an R with or without breasts.

The Johnny Cochrane version: “If the R is for V, the tits are free.”

… but it’s not a record he’ll crow about.

In the long and storied history of major league baseball, dating back to 1871 or 1876 (historians disagree about whether the National Association {1871-1875} should be considered a major league), no player has ever compiled a worse batting average in 500 or more plate appearances.

He set the record at .168. The previous record was .179.

It looked iffy for a while because Davis was batting .180 on September 5th, and was on a tear, having batted .344 in his last eight games. But he was more than up to the challenge, finishing the season 1-for-37 to crush the record.

Davis also made a run at the record in 2014, when he finished at .196, 14th-worst in history.

He is in the third year of a 7-year, $161 million contract.

Link fixed:

Caveat emptor. Or maybe caveat surfor – let the surfer beware. (Pretty sure the ancient Romans had no word for “surfer,” so I’m going with “surfor.”) As usual with alleged leaks like this one, I have no idea where they came from or whether they are legitimate.

Dana is a relatively obscure actress. Here is her IMDb page.

 

I don’t usually learn much from the posts on Cracked.com, although I sometimes enjoy their take on things. This article is an exception. I learned a lot.

I didn’t know that there was an American town completely within Canada. In order to get from Point Roberts, Washington to any other part of Washington, there are only two options: take a boat, or drive through Canada! One of the coolest things about this situation is that Point Roberts is too small to have its own school system beyond third grade, so the children there have to be bused through Canada and back into the USA twice a day – four border crossings every single weekday.

I didn’t know there was a walled-in Spanish town (Melilla) completely on the continent of Africa.

I know that the Balkan borders are sometimes crazy, but I didn’t know that Croatia is split into two halves separated by a six-mile stretch of Bosnia. This presents so many border-related traffic problems that Croatia is trying to negotiate a plan to build a six mile bridge over the Bosnian territory. (Of course they need Bosnia’s permission to build the chain of supports on Bosnian territory.)

And some of the other examples are also fascinating!