Rudy Giuliani says he voted for Justices “Sotormayor and Kagen”

Rudy Giuliani tweeted about “Lindsay” Graham: “He voted for Justices Sotormayor and Kagen on old fashioned principles. I also did.”

OK. I admit that people claim all kinds of shit. Scoopy’s First Law of the Universe is this: No matter how stupid any idea is, there will be many people who believe it, and even take credit for it. Some even claim ice dancing is a sport.

This claim, however, is so far from reality that nobody has even been able to figure out what the hell Rudy is talking about. When would he have had a chance to vote for the confirmation of Supreme Court justices? He has never been a Senator. Mayors don’t get a vote.

Furthermore, he misspelled the names of both judges, plus Graham’s first name. (Not to mention the word “old-fashioned.”)

The only thing people have been able to deduce is that “Lindsay” and “Justices Sotormayor and Kagen” must be three people from an alternate universe into which Rudy has found a portal, and has become a Senator. It’s almost like our universe except for three things:

spelling is slightly different

everyone good here is evil there

Spock has a beard.


Note: do not confuse Scoopy’s First Law with Scoopy’s Prime Directive, which goes as follows:

If you are making a movie and are certainly going to get an R rating for violence (or cussing), load up on breasts, because no quantity of breasts will earn you an NC-17. It will be an R with or without breasts.

The Johnny Cochrane version: “If the R is for V, the tits are free.”

3 thoughts on “Rudy Giuliani says he voted for Justices “Sotormayor and Kagen”

  1. My guess: they were drafting this tweet for someone else, and gave it to Rudy instead. But who? Trump’s closest allies don’t fit because they didn’t vote for those justices (which could be why it didn’t get shipped to McConnell). I think only Collins fits the bill among serving Senators.

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