Rudy Giuliani tweeted about “Lindsay” Graham: “He voted for Justices Sotormayor and Kagen on old fashioned principles. I also did.”
OK. I admit that people claim all kinds of shit. Scoopy’s First Law of the Universe is this: No matter how stupid any idea is, there will be many people who believe it, and even take credit for it. Some even claim ice dancing is a sport.
This claim, however, is so far from reality that nobody has even been able to figure out what the hell Rudy is talking about. When would he have had a chance to vote for the confirmation of Supreme Court justices? He has never been a Senator. Mayors don’t get a vote.
Furthermore, he misspelled the names of both judges, plus Graham’s first name. (Not to mention the word “old-fashioned.”)
The only thing people have been able to deduce is that “Lindsay” and “Justices Sotormayor and Kagen” must be three people from an alternate universe into which Rudy has found a portal, and has become a Senator. It’s almost like our universe except for three things:
spelling is slightly different
everyone good here is evil there
Spock has a beard.
Note: do not confuse Scoopy’s First Law with Scoopy’s Prime Directive, which goes as follows:
If you are making a movie and are certainly going to get an R rating for violence (or cussing), load up on breasts, because no quantity of breasts will earn you an NC-17. It will be an R with or without breasts.
The Johnny Cochrane version: “If the R is for V, the tits are free.”