“Winter penis is very much real, and you and your little pal must prepare yourselves. As the weather gets colder, those of you with a penis may notice shrinkage, decreased erections, and difficulty reaching orgasm. This isn’t due to your dick going into hibernation, but a physical reaction to the cold. ‘Men can expect their penis to shrivel by up to 50% in length and 20% to 30% in girth when the weather gets chilly.'”
I once dated a girl named Winter Penis. She pronounced it “pah-NEE.”