“Bad Sex in Fiction Award: Haruki Murakami, James Frey and Gerard Woodward among all-male shortlist”
My favorite:
Major Victor Cornwall and Major Arthur St John Trevelyan, “Scoundrels: The Hunt for Hansclapp”
“Empty my tanks,” I’d begged breathlessly, as once more she began drawing me deep inside her pleasure cave. Her vaginal ratchet moved in concertina-like waves, slowly chugging my organ as a boa constrictor swallows its prey. Soon I was locked in, balls deep, ready to be ground down by the enamelled pepper mill within her.
I think the committee was hornswoggled on that one. I find it hard to believe that anyone could write that poorly unless they were intending to. It sure sounds like it was intended as a parody. If it is serious, it should be declared the winner by unanimous affirmation.
