“Is there anything good we can say about 2018?”

Dave Barry’s Year in Review, 2018

“Abroad, the Russian news agency TASS reports that Vladimir Putin, who campaigned on the theme ‘A Vote For Putin Is A Vote For Not Dying Under Mysterious Circumstances,’ has been declared the winner of the 2018 Russian presidential election, as well as, in the interest of efficiency, the 2024 and 2030 elections.”