The Phillies are suddenly much poorer. Or much richer, depending on your point of view.

Harper is only 26, so a 13-year deal isn’t totally crazy. Maybe.

The Phillies just hope the right Harper shows up. If it’s 2015 Harper, the guy who batted .330 with 42 homers while leading the league in both on-base and slugging, they spent their money wisely. If it’s 2016 Harper, who batted .243 with 24 homers, they just spend a third of a billion dollars on an outfielder with average production.

Last year’s Harper was again below .250, but that’s deceptive because he actually gets on base more often than many .300 hitters. Harper drew 130 walks last year, leading the league by a wide margin.

But here’s even more exciting news for Phillies fans – the team has set its sights next on baseball’s best player, Mike Trout, when he becomes a free agent after the 2020 season. Now that’s just getting greedy. All I can say is they better get a Brinks truck full of cash for that one, because if Harper (lifetime WAR 27) is worth $25 million a year, Trout (lifetime WAR 64) is worth about as much as the entire Commonwealth of Pennsylvania – and he’s still improving every year.

She was just hauled in on her sixth DUI, not to mention running a stop sign, driving without a license, and going the wrong way on a one-way street. At the time she was stopped, she also had outstanding warrants for pretty much every other crime you can think of, except re-transmitting a game without the express written consent of major league baseball.

The total crime package! Or, as law enforcement professionals call it, “The Full Manafort.”

Follow-Up:

In a previous post, we linked to this page, which is dedicated to collecting every image of Alyssa Milano naked. There’s no controversy over the movie scenes or her famous skinny dip, but that page also includes several stills which the blogger purports to come from a nude shoot Milano did for the first issue of Bikini magazine (from the publishers of Ray Gun) in 1993.

In reality, the pics do not all come from there. (That would have been a helluva magazine spread!) Thanks to several of our commenters and some old magazines in my own collection, we are now able to identify a source for most of the nudes.

Four of the images did come from that edition of Bikini.  (See the cover here)

These were the first Milano nudes to appear. She would have been 19 at the time, and this edition hit the newsstand two years before the release of Milano’s first film nudity in Embrace of the Vampire or her first TV nudity in an episode of Outer Limits .

The images are authentic, by Milano’s own admission. Alyssa said in an interview:

“I didn’t pose nude for Bikini. I posed nude for a coffee-table book about celebrities and their tattoos, and the money was going to go to pediatric AIDS. But the book never came out and the photographer sold the pictures to Bikini without telling me. I could do nothing because the photographer owned the rights to the pictures.”

That explanation does not seem truthful for two reasons: (1) No tattoos appear in the photos; (2) One blogger says he worked on the photoshoot in the desert, during which Milano was accompanied by her mother, and he was there as an employee of Bikini magazine.

Not that it really matters. They key fact is that the images are authentic.

The next group comes from a 1995 spread in Celebrity Sleuth magazine, volume 8, number 3. (Cover here) The Sleuth chose the 25 sexiest women of 1995, placing Milano in the #2 spot. That was certainly an appropriate rank for her, perhaps even too low, since Milano burned up the screen that year. In our poll for the top nude scenes of 1995, Milano appeared in both the top film scene and the top cable TV scene!

Note that I am not vouching for the fact that all of these pictures really portray Alyssa Milano. The “muddy” ones are obviously consistent with the sepia-toned pics that appeared in Bikini mag, which Milano admitted posing for in the interview cited above, but some of the others seem doubtful, especially the one on the lower left.

Three years later, a third group was published in a French-language gentleman’s magazine called Newlook in their June, 1998 issue. (Cover pictured here.)

This layout represented the first appearance of the color photographs of a woman in Native American gear alleged to be Milano. Newlook did not seem to be completely convinced of their authenticity, since those photos were relegated to the status of tiny inserts, but the editors did also publish a larger (non-nude) image which seemed to be from the same shoot. That particular one portrays a woman wearing a Native American headdress.

Finally, there are two more of those color images. I have been able to determine neither their origin nor their authenticity.

I’ve personally apologized to Michael Cohen for referencing his private family in the public square. Regardless of disagreements, family members should be off-limits from attacks … ”

Yeah, that’s sincere.

Here, Congressman, let me re-word that for you to say what you really mean:

“I deeply regret my actions, given that they may cost me my place in the Florida bar, earn a rebuke and penalties from Congress, and may even land me in the slammer. By placing my faith in Almighty God, I am now doing my best to weasel out of my predicaments and pretend that I have genuine remorse. As for Michael Cohen and his family … fuck that guy and the horse he rode in on.”

Here is Ali Larter’s famous whipped cream bikini in Varsity Blues

Her age tricked me. I thought she was about a decade younger, for three reasons:

(1) I lost track of the fact that Varsity Blues is now 20 years old.

(2) I had not realized that she was already about 23 when she played the role of a high school girl in this flick.

(3) Her appearance hasn’t changed much in those years. (That linked pic is her today, from Instagram, celebrating her 43rd birthday in her birthday suit.)