Forget “murder hornets,” experts say — this is the real “murder insect”

Insect experts say people should calm down about the big bug with the nickname “murder hornet” — unless you are a beekeeper or a honeybee. The Asian giant hornets found in Washington state that grabbed headlines last week aren’t big killers of humans, although it does happen on rare occasions.

University of Illinois entomologist May Berenbaum said of the worry: “People are afraid of the wrong thing. The scariest insect out there are mosquitoes. People don’t think twice about them. If anyone’s a murder insect, it would be a mosquito.”

Good to see somebody sticking up for murder hornets. I have sent Ms. Berenbaum a copy of my popular children’s book from Scoopy Press, “Timmy: the little hornet who couldn’t murder.” All the other hornets bullied him when he decided to give up murder for architecture, but he became their hero when he designed a stronger, more durable nest which could not be breached by Evil Mr. Lizard. I’ve had some feelers from Disney about the movie rights.

I’m thinking murder hornets also need a P.R. agency to rename and reposition them – possible work for Scoopy Consulting. 99% of their problem stems from their name – what could be scarier than murder? In a fight between “murder” hornets and “honey” bees, which will you root for? Who doesn’t love honey?

And the word “hornet” itself is intimidating. I propose re-naming the murder hornets “sugar friends.” Everyone loves friendship, and sugar is sweet like honey. Now if you have to choose between honeybees and sugar friends, which are you gonna champion?