White House Announces Entire U.S. Population Attended Trump’s Tulsa Rally

Seeking to counter the narrative put forward by the mainstream media, the Trump administration announced Monday that the entire U.S. populace of 6,200 had attended the president’s recent rally in Tulsa. “Despite what the fake news at CNN and MSNBC would have you believe, President Trump was honored by the fact that every citizen of the United States, nearly 7,000 people, showed up to this historic event,” said Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany, noting that unscrupulous news outlets had seized on the fact that the Bank of Oklahoma Center is a large stadium whose capacity was several times that of the U.S population in order to discredit the president

The Onion

5 thoughts on “White House Announces Entire U.S. Population Attended Trump’s Tulsa Rally

      1. I think that was their finest work, Ignatius. I might even still have that issue.

      2. Damn I knew they were always on point, but this was right out of the gate before 9-11:

        During the 40-minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years.

        “You better believe we’re going to mix it up with somebody at some point during my administration,” said Bush, who plans a 250 percent boost in military spending. “Unlike my predecessor, I am fully committed to putting soldiers in battle situations. Otherwise, what is the point of even having a military?”

  1. It’s so very Trumpian that The Onion has become indistinguishable from reality. I honestly would’ve believed that that was an official White House statement, obvious, elementary error included. In fact, especially the error.

    I really can’t wait to have an adult in the Oval Office again — 2020 owes us some good news (technically 2021, but you know what I mean).

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