What will be the new name of the Washington football team?

One of the choices is “Warriors,” which would allow the team to retain its offensive iconography and 90% of the racism.

Talk about tone deaf.

This reminds me of one of my fav movies, Evil Roy Slade. When a psychologist was trying to persuade Evil Roy to begin a new non-outlaw life with a new name, Evil Roy said something like, “A new name … I like that. Evil John Ferguson? Evil Fred Noland? Evil Lee Rich?”

Dan Snyder: “A new name? I like that. The Potomac Redskins? The DC Redskins? The District Redskins? The Capital Redskins?”

Y’know, Dan, a lot of black people live in DC. The National N…..s might be right for you!

I think the best way to handle this would be turn turn the racism backward and create an offensive white stereotype. Luckily, the “Brockmire” show has already done all the work:

That episode of Brockmire was filmed about a year ago, but life now mirrors it as the Cleveland Indians consider a name change.

All kidding aside, I’m not convinced that Snyder will really give in, but you can actually bet on what the new team name might be. “Presidents” is the current favorite. As a commenter noted, “People have been advocating for ‘Redtails’ after the airplanes the Tuskegee Airman flew. They’ve mocked up artwork and everything.”

Here are some possibilities from the fierce animal kingdom:

  • The Potomac Piranhas
  • The Washington Wolverines
  • The Capital Cheetahs

Oh, let’s not leave that kidding aside. How about some silly suggestions:

  • The Capital Won (should be easy to get a sponsor)
  • The Federal Express (ditto)
  • The Capital Ideas
  • The Washington Carvers
  • The DC Comics
  • The Deep State Eleven

From the comment section:

The Capital Punishment. They can have a mascot race in the sixth inning with different instruments of death… “And the guillotine wins by a head!”

18 thoughts on “What will be the new name of the Washington football team?

  1. If they are actually going to give in to this political correct bullshit, there is only acceptable name.

    The Washington Pussies.

    1. If billionaires like Snyder want to keep this patronizing name, then Native Americans should have the right to retroactively put an intellectual property copyright on the name and charge the hell out of the organization and its fans .

      Washington franchises have already had two name changes within the lat 20 years. The Washington Bullets became the Wizards, and the Montreal Expos became the Nationals upon that move. Of course, triggered little snowflake conservatives are going to bitch because they can’t stand to see a name changes, because the conservative way is to make money off of someone else’s back. It’s not about political correctness, it’s about the fact you have no God given right to drop a patronizing or disrespectful ‘tribute’ to make money off of a group that was enslaved and killed off.

      Fuck Dan Snyder and fuck anyone who has a problem with it.

    2. They are not giving into bullshit so much as they are recognizing reality. They want to put a new stadium – hopefully not a piece of shit like Jack Kent Cooke built at “Raljon” – in the old RFK site in the District. The District wants them there – but without the name. Fedex pulling sponsership gives little Danny wiggle room to ditch the name and get his location without appearing to kowtow to DC.

      1. NFL owners are about the lowest piece of rich scum there is. They basically are able to manipulate cities into these massive barely used stadiums being built at no cost to them, with a ton of cost to taxpayers. They’ve got players on the hook to the worst deal for any players association in the major sports while also being by far the most damaging long term to athletes. And by FAR the most lucrative media rights of basically anything – sports or otherwise – right now.

        All that and what happens when the name changes? Snyder will make a ton off of new merchandise, a new color scheme, and being the fresh apparel on the market – the first team to be added or a name change since the Oilers to Texans in 2002.

        I’ve never seen such a shitstorm about something where the only consequence of it, is the owners just make more money and probably get a new stadium and sponsorships out of it. Here’s a situation where literally the owners own all the damn money and power and its STILL not enough. And you have cult like backwoods yokels even defending it.

        Some people just need to put their direct deposit weekly paycheck directly into the bank account’s of pieces of shit like Dan Snyder and Jerry Jones since nothing is EVER enough.

        1. Pro baseball team owners are right down there too. Where I live, that meant Bud Selig, the owner/commissioner (oh, no, no conflict of interest there) who got my city and county to pay for a new stadium about 20 years ago. We are still paying for it via sales taxes, and I estimate we always will be.

  2. How about the Washington Redfins in recognition of the redfin pickerel fish, an ambush predator with a habitat on the eastern seaboard? Go Fish!

  3. The Capital Punishment. They can have a mascot race in the sixth inning with different instruments of death… “And the guillotine wins by a head!”

  4. Whatever they’re called, looks like another season (supposing a season even happens) of suction for them. Who do they even have for a QB? Case Keenum or some shit?

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