That’s an interesting project! It really brings these guys to life.

  • Vespasian was LBJ.
  • Augustus looked kinda like Daniel Craig
  • Nerva looked like crochety old character actor John Anderson
  • Aemilian was our old Other Crap favorite, F. Murray Abraham.
  • Florianus was Artie Lange after an especially debauched evening.
  • Gordian III was Scott Baio.
  • Titus was a morph of Tom Arnold and Art Garfunkel.
  • According to this, Commodus looked like Dennis Rodman, not Joaquin Phoenix. I can’t reconcile that with his busts.

Their appearances, as pictured here, cause me to judge them with prejudice. I know, for example, that Titus was one of the more capable and virtuous (if short-lived) emperors, but it’s difficult to picture that because he looks like a doofus.

It has already been removed, but the internet, for better or worse, is forever. Here is the full-sized version