News flash: Australia never existed

There is regular flat earth and now extreme flat earth

“Australia is not real. It’s a hoax, made for us to believe that Britain moved over their criminals to someplace. In reality, all these criminals were loaded off the ships into the waters, drowning before they could see land ever again. It’s a coverup for one of the greatest mass murders in history, made by one of the most prominent empires… Australia is not real. It’s a codeword for the cold blooded murder of more than a hundred thousand people, and it is not okay. We will not, accept this. Stand up for the ones who died. Let it be known, that Australia does not exist.”

Scoop’s First Law of the Universe is this: No matter how stupid any idea is, there will be many people who believe it, and even take credit for it.

11 thoughts on “News flash: Australia never existed

  1. Flat earth thinkery can take all kinds of forms. For example, it is a sunny day in DC today but the sky is not blue, more white/gray with blue trying to sneak through. The sun is more white than yellow. And as our Very Stable Genius has informed us, it is all because the inhabitants of the Left Coast don’t rake their leaves properly. That’s some bigass flat earth right there.

  2. Did they actually think they’d fool anyone with these tales of a mythical continent filled with both the cutest and deadliest creatures, of an indigenous people with their magical sticks that return after being thrown, or of maps with impossible place names such as Humpty Doo, No No Hole, Blackbutt, Gowang and Wagga Wagga? Nice try, people of England, but Jonathan Swift called, he said it’s all too fantastical.

  3. I never really believed there was a place where everything was upside down. But the measures they took to get people to believe in “Australia” were incredible. My father claimed he had been there in WWII. But he also claimed to have enjoyed growing up in New Jersey. that should have been a tip-off. I even have “Australian” coins! With a “kangaroo” on them, no less.

  4. Seemed pretty substantial when I was there. Unless they just said they were flying me to Oz and then landed in Paraguay or something. I wouldn’t put that past Northworst.

    1. Who are you going to believe, Nature Mom: Some guy on the Internet, or your lying ears and lying eyes?

  5. When the Hoodoo Gurus are here in two weeks I’ll denounce them as non-existent frauds and ask for my money back – after I’ve taken in the show,

  6. I think it is impressive the way that they have gotten all of the airlines to be in on the whole thing. As everyone knows, there is no real air travel either, all of it is simply a ruse. They knock you out with gas, and then implant, ala Total Recall, the memories of your travel.

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