Most boring sex tips ever?

Gwyneth Paltrow Reveals the Sex Advice She Gave Her Teenage Kids

I know it sounds boring, but I was surprised to see that it was:

“I tell you this my children: Light one of my vagina scented-candles and put on some Black Sabbath. Then fuck like there’s no tomorrow; devour like a beast; wail like a banshee.”

Nah, I’m just fuckin’ witcha. That was the sex advice of either Pope Francis or Mickey Rourke. I forget which. Gwyn just offered some cliches so tedious that they would have bored Polonius. In fact Polonius actually offered Laertes a more eloquent version of the very same advice:

Polonius: “This above all: to thine own self be true”

Paltrow: “You have to stay really close to your own truth.”

One thought on “Most boring sex tips ever?

  1. Maybe I’m just being an old codger here, but why is a mother giving sex advice to her 15-year-old son? Unless that advice is, “anyone having sex with you is committing statutory rape.”

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