Daryl Hannah in ‘At Play in the Fields of the Lord’ (1991)

This film is now 30 years old.

On the relativity of time:

When I was completing my set of 1959 baseball cards, The Jazz Singer was 30 years old, and those thirty years seemed like they must have belonged to ancient times. In contrast, 1991 does not seem to me to be very different from today or very far in the past.

For reference, consult Hegel’s famous essay, “On the relativity of time,” and Kant’s famous rebuttal, delivered while grabbing his crotch, “I got yer relativity right here, douchebag.”

There is no nudity, but a panty-clad Kristen appeared “topless” from behind, offering a bit of side-boob as she changed mirrors.

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I learned two things from this movie, which may or may not be true about the real-life characters being portrayed.

1. The British royals are pampered, lifeless, soulless sybarites.

2. Princess Di, though a kind and decent sort, may have been the most boring person in human history.

This movie is so tedious and aloof that it really makes you recognize the genius of the creators of The Crown, who have somehow managed to make these people interesting.