Busted for shoplifting the Autoblow!

The employee, cops noted, “was able to identify McFarland because he recently applied for a position at Adult World.”

Key info:

The Autoblow’s creators contend the 10-speed masturbator–which plugs into a wall outlet–“uses artificial intelligence to give you the perfect blowjob.”

5 thoughts on “Busted for shoplifting the Autoblow!

  1. Gonna be tough landing a job with that on his record. “Who are we interviewing next?” “Oh, some jerkoff.”

  2. Some random stupid thoughts:
    -Artificial intelligence? Really? As old as I am, the concept of “artificial Intelligence” still conjures thoughts of movies like “Colossus: The Forbin Project,” not plug-in jack-off devices.
    -If the Autoblow is such hot stuff, why did he feel the need to swipe the el cheapo models?
    -And I think we can all agree on this: better that he steal the thing outright, than use it and stick it back on the shelf.

  3. Dang, I am getting old. I assumed the Autoblow was some kind of breathalyser you could install in your car. An electronic pud pounder (with AI, no less) just did not occur to me. Probably would have been my first thought 30 years ago.

    1. I don’t see any reason why one device couldn’t do both functions. I have an outdoor vacuum that reverses into a leaf blower. Just call it Autoblow Plus, and just think of it as a Swiss Army Mouth.

      1. What a great idea, like that stuff that’s both a dessert topping AND a floor wax! It’s thinking like that that….I have no ending for that sentence. Any help?

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