Brainscan looks at a Bill Zebub masterpiece

All comments by Brainscan:

Scienceless Fiction is vile, just vile, purely vile from start to finish, deliberate in its insults to any and all who think of themselves as decent folk with adult sensibilities. It offends at every turn and repels at every corner. And that is exactly what Bill Zebub intended.

This thing – not fair to call it a movie – is some two hours of vignettes held together just barely by a story of aliens from an ancient, distant world led by Adolf Hitler, alive and well. All the aliens wear clown suits as uniforms and one paints his face exactly as John Wayne Gacy did back when he was alive and clowning around… before he brought out the handcuffs. Each alien/clown winds up paired with a babe who is always topless and frequently nude, thus my own interest in this thing and no doubt the interest of my fellow readers of the Funhouse and Other Crap. I put up with the ugliness and the stupidity and the death metal (but, dear reader, I repeat myself) to see the babes, again just as Bill intended.

Look, I cannot be sure why Bill makes these sorts of movies, fills them with racist rants and attacks on what most of us hold to be good and decent. Perhaps he is a wretched piece of shit. The characters he portrays and the words he writes for them certainly give us every reason to conclude that he is one god-awful motherfucker. But then, you sit and fume about it all and it hits you that maybe Bill is playing five-dimensional chess with a movie camera. Perhaps he is making a point, a real honest-to-goodness important point and he chooses to do so in a way that gets your attention, no matter what. Let me give you one example of what I mean.

In the third scene in which Bill shares the screen with Maeva Athena, as is the case for most of her ten minutes on screen, Maeva makes a statement and then just stands there, tits akimbo, as Bill’s character rants and raves. In this one rant-and-rave, he says the children murdered at Sandy Hook Elementary school in 2011 deserved what they got because they had bullied Adam Lanza, the 20-year-old man who shot them all. All twenty of the children Lanza shot and killed were either 6 or 7 years old. And THEY were supposed to have bullied HIM?! Children no more than four years out of diapers bullied a 20-year-old man? When? How? In what universe is it possible?

This is the vilest of slanders on Bill’s part, complete bullshit spoken with contempt not only of the facts and of common sense but also of common decency. It is also spoken with the kind of confidence that comes only with ignorance. All of us have seen it, the cock-sure statement of fact that you know to be hopelessly wrong. Seems fair to say that anyone who wrote this idiocy in a script and anyone who spoke it in front of camera and anyone who distributed the slanders on digital media IS a wretched piece of shit. Bill Zebub did all three, so case closed, right?

Turns out Bill’s character managed to conflate the mass murder of young children at Sandy Hook in 2011 with the mass murder of teenagers at Columbine High School (Colorado) in 1999. He fused the two stories, a thousand miles and twelve years apart, into a single tale, an ugly chimera. And he spoke his slander with full confidence, while wearing a clown suit. If all this was, indeed, deliberate – the conflation of widely separate events by a clown who sounds so very sure of himself – then holy hell, he has made quite the point.

The folks at Fox News might take note, or at least they should. Way to go, Bill. Brilliant stuff. So, what do we have here? Bill Zebub, stinking turd in human form or Bill Zebub, fucking genius?

This is the third of his movies I have sat through just to capture the nekkid babes and I am inching toward a conclusion. Whataya say I watch one more and let you know.

Now for some good news: Scienceless Fiction is filled, from sea to shining sea, with women who wear almost nothing. Several have no speaking parts – they dance in front of a green screen back-filled with cheap-ass visual effects.

Early on we have Sheri Medulla (without her sisters, Polly Pons and Margaret Midbrain)

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and Clover St. Claire,

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Stephanie Anders

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and Terra Incognita, born in a land that no one knows.

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Later, and on several occasions, Scarlett Storm

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and, at the end, Lydia Laell struts her stuff.

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Andrea Hall has the most screen time, which includes a couple of sexual molestation scenes because if racism and homophobia can’t reel in an audience or at least a distributor, maybe rape will get it done.

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Maeva Athena seems to be a favorite of Bill’s – he likes them on the zaftig side – which means we get to see him smooch with her at some point, but we are otherwise treated to an historic triple B performance.

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And we get to see a topless Genoveva Rossi as she listens to a cockroach spew racist horseshit and then suffer through an assault by Bill in blackface. Delightful stuff, all of it. Seems Ms. Rossi is a scream queen of some renown but I’ll be damned if I have seen her in anything else.

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The exposure star of the whole thing is Nadine Stevens She is an attractive gal and somehow Bill the movie maker convinced her to give us ten minutes of on-screen full frontal and full backal nudity while she executed high-legged karate kicks in slow motion. Not a square inch of her surface goes unseen. Shit, Bill, you are a genius.

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2 thoughts on “Brainscan looks at a Bill Zebub masterpiece

  1. Zebub is basically a loser who thinks he’s funny, but his humor is lame and stretched out. He thinks he’s like Andy Kaufmann instead of the 1,327th generation of Kaufmann. But at least this way he can get a lot of mediocre babes to show him their tits (and every now and then an actual hot one).

  2. And the irony is, he’s a friend of friends, and is apparently a really nice guy. This is all his attempt at art and not an expression of his personal views. Or something. I’ve met him, pleasant guy. The friends who are buddies with him wouldn’t tolerate the kind of stuff he gets up to here off screen, I know that much.

    He’s just really dedicated to transgressive movie making. I guess.

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