From Soused Stepdad.

He opines:

Drea De Matteo’s doing her best attempt at an Old Lady Leg Spread, in hopes her arthritic hips don’t give out while she’s doing it and that her fossilized dinosaur pussy doesn’t crumble like an old artifact found buried in the great plains. Unfortunately for us, she’s not letting us see what an old, dried out vagina actually looks like, all weathered like a sea captain coming in on his final sail.

From Soused Stepdad

He opines:

So you can look at his hot daughter, now in her 40s, showing off her big tits and long legs, that everyone wants to fuck, even her dad, if he wasn’t her dad, cuz she’s just that good, and genetic attraction is real…like I’ve been looking at her since she first started showing up….and sexualize her proper….you with kindness and respect, or you can sexualize her with a hate fuck in mind….

The events planned are as follows, according to the Florida Man Games’ website:

Evading Arrest Obstacle Course — Jump over fences, through backyards and away from actual police officers to earn your freedom.

Category 5 Cash Grab — Subject yourself to Category 5 winds as you scramble to catch as much real cash as you can.

Beer Belly Florida Sumo — Dive into the beer belly of the beast as you try to blast your opponent out of the ring.

Mullet Contest — Florida is well-known for being the home of the most outrageous mullet cuts on the planet. Watch and pick the winners.