“Jacob Elordi Was So Terrible on ‘SNL’ That Beautiful People Should Never Be Allowed to Host Again”

They came up with only one theme for their jokes: Jacob is taller and hotter than the rest of us. That’s true enough, and maybe good for one passing reference, but not as the basis of multiple sketches.

My theory is that Jacob should always be required to travel with a Jiminy Cricket character to remind him that being hot doesn’t cover up douchebaggery. I recommend Curtis “Booger” Armstrong for the job. In fact, I think Jacob and Booger should do a buddy cop film where the elderly Booger actually subdues all the bad guys and solves all the crimes.

This is part of my continuing campaign to give Booger more work.

10 thoughts on ““Jacob Elordi Was So Terrible on ‘SNL’ That Beautiful People Should Never Be Allowed to Host Again”

    1. I heard her on an NPR show. She’s actually reasonably intelligent. But I do find her bland and boring as an actress.

    2. Maybe not. That film they did with Dakota Johnson joining ISIS was one of the funnier things in SNL history.

      1. I remember that skit, but didn’t recognize that as being her. Also, on further thought she was pretty good in “Black Mass”, the biopic about Whitey Bulger.

  1. Curtis Armstrong returns to his role as the campus cop from Van Wilder, but in the meantime he has managed to reach his goal of becoming a real police officer. His task is to train the new recruit, who has the IQ of a Russian toilet (paraphrasing What We Do in the Shadows), played by Jacob Elordi. With the imagination of Hollywood in play, it quickly turns into a variation on Cyrano de Bergerac by way of Roxanne, with a small adjusted from the fire station to the police station.

    I mean, people are paid big bucks to come up with shit like this, so why not?

    1. That could be pretty cool, especially if Curtis is a real hero type. He still looks and talks like Booger (with a proper policeman’s haircut, of course), but despite his age, he is fearless and actually kicks ass, while Elordi turns out to be a total wuss who would get his ass kicked by Les Nessman.

      In fact, I would totally support placing this in the WKRP universe and dragging Richard Sanders out of retirement to play Les one last time.

      Not sure about the Cyrano aspect, but I guess it could be good if written well.

      1. I wouldn’t say the Cyrano part necessarily would be a good match, or that I’d want to see it. It was more “what else can we include to show how different these guys are?” with a bit of romance at play. Although the age differences involved would be a bit much. I guess also deriving from classic literature was more of a thing in the past. I can’t think of anything recent that’s obvious.

        As for Les Nessman – Roxanne had Michael Pollard, kind of similar 😁 Sorry for bringing back the Cyrano thing with Nessman too – it just seemed like a silly element to bring into it, and something that Hollywood could come up with.

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