This 1980 film is an old-fashioned Hollywood Western that glorifies outlaws and romanticizes the Wild West. It features the corny emoting of Old Hollywood legend Burt Lancaster, and you can fairly argue that it seems more like a 1955 movie than a 1980 effort, but I have to admit that I enjoyed setting my brain aside to watch this mindless whitewashing of the Doolan-Dalton gang.

Unfortunately, it’s a PG film, and the only nudity was from John Savage. Boo!

Amanda Plummer (Cattle Annie), who was 22 when the film was lensed in the summer of 1979, and future star Diane Lane (Little Britches), who was only 14, bathed in the river with the outlaw gang, but they stayed covered.


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Lane

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Notes:

  • The real Cattle Annie was only 13 when she was captured, but Plummer looked young enough to play the part.
  • Plummer (Honey Bunny in Pulp Fiction) is the daughter of Tammy Grimes and the stage and screen icon, Christopher Plummer.
  • The real Cattle Annie, at least according to one version of the tale, lived until 1978! She was almost 96 when she passed.

The Sloshed Step-parent was rough on Denise, as is his wont. He had this to say:

I don’t know about you, but I spent a lot of time in some pretty ghetto strip clubs in my time. If they were in Vegas, and they weren’t, they’d be a few hours off the strip in some random homeless shelter or squatter’s basement.

I am talking bottom of the barrel, end of the fucking world, garbage places that the nastiest of girls would suck your dick for 20 bucks or less.

The dudes in there were either old or homeless trying to stay warm on cold winter nights, because it was where the cheap beer was. There wasn’t even organized crime or gangsters in the place because it was so fucking forgotten and the women who worked there looked to be about as neglected as the place, which had the stinging mold smell, mismatched chairs that made no sense, carpeting that I am sure housed all kinds of disease…it was just all around sad…

The lap dance booths were on old mattresses that they likely found in back alleys, which I always felt pretty fucking weird about, but you know, if you’re in a place like that, you gotta commit to the really sad dream.

Anyway, Denise Richards’ ass reminds me of those sad, gross, dumpy, old, forgotten women…

Scoop’s note:

Many decades ago, I was in such a place in Hot Springs, Arkansas. The main room smelled of stale beer. The strippers were in their 40s, their bodies were not toned, some had missing teeth, and one had even had a mastectomy. We gave them unduly large tips because we felt … I dunno exactly. Guilt? Pity? Sadness? Embarrassment? Compassion? Sympathy? At least one of those.

We would have left after a few minutes, but one of my companions took a shine to one of the women, even though she looked like she had been “rode hard and put away wet,” as we said in Texas. I sympathized with the guy because I knew that he was always excited to escape his sexless wife, but I couldn’t relate. I have never been that horny. Short of cash, he borrowed money from another guy to take the stripper into the “champagne room,” although I suppose the nearest thing they had to champagne was Lone Star beer in a long-neck bottle.

Drunken Stepfather explains:

“I assume that this Kaley Cuoco on the toilet pulling the panties up is some old content that’s being repurposed because we are an environmentally bunch of fucking perverts who like to reuse and recycle old nudes, or leaked nudes, or accidental nudes….

Being nostalgic with the pussy we like or that we jerk off to is fine because 99 percent of the time the old nudes are better than the new nudes because the old nudes were from a time when the pussy was less old and weathered.”

I was crazy for Daphne Zuniga. She was gorgeous and able to create sympathetic characters. I wish she had done one really great, clear nude scene. This is the closest she came. It might have been a contender without all the strategically-placed blood stains.

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She used a body double in Initiation, so as far as I know, her only other nudity was this brief butt shot in 1989’s Staying Together.


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The premise: guy fakes his own death to escape debt collection.

I think I’ve mentioned before that I once faked my own death to break up with a stalking ex-girlfriend. To this day, she still places flowers on my grave.


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Clarification: I didn’t really do that, but I thought about it. I finally managed to get rid of her by doing something very similar to dying. I moved to Hungary.

To make a long story much longer, some reminiscences follow.

Continue reading “Lali Gonzalez naked in Rest in Peace (2024)”

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This is a series about really, really old cops.

  • Remember when Danny Glover said, “I’m too old for this shit”? Well, he would have been about three decades too young for this shit.
  • Remember how old Abe Vigoda seemed as Detective Fish on Barney Miller? Either of these guys could be Fish’s dad.
  • Rentnercops are older than Shatnercops.
  • Remember when George Costanza fled the angry mob on a disability scooter? Well, he could easily have gotten away from a pursuit by these guys.

OK, I’m out of references. The title means “retired cops.” The premise is that staff shortages force two long-retired detectives back into action. If some scenes look too ridiculous for a crime show, I suppose that’s because IMDb bills the show as a crime comedy. Yeah, I know, it’s hard to tell with Germans. There are normally not that many laughs in an autopsy, but that is one zany nation! It’s almost as if Jim Carrey started his own race of people.

The entire episode is online for free. The nudity starts around 13:28. I give this episode a +2 on the Eurocrap scale.

Eurocrap Plusses:

“Seasons in the Sun” in German, right after the intro, starting at about the thirty second mark.

Death by crossbow in an office

Autopsy nudity

Eurocrap Minuses:

No green light in the autopsy room.

I’m assuming these are new only because Hot Celebs Nude says so. All Britney pics and vids look alike to me.

Britney is too repetitious for my taste. All of her dance videos are fungible, and the same is now true about her beach nudes. When I stumble over a set of Britney pics/vids, I always wonder, “Have I already seen these, or just others that look like them?”

That noted, I’ll add that Britney has some powerful thighs for a 42-year-old woman who doesn’t play sports.