To be fair, the little nipper probably homed right in on the only job Harry is qualified for.
His campaign may not have been a hole in one, but @realDonaldTrump is now on course to dedicate more of his time to his favourite sport as #MadameTussaudsLondon re-dresses his figure in golfing attire to reflect his potential 2021 wardrobe 📷 @PA pic.twitter.com/pGUs8jKOnW
— Madame Tussauds London (@MadameTussauds) November 7, 2020
I don’t know whether I really give a crap, but I don’t think Trump ever dresses like this. I think he always golfs in a white shirt and unpatterned pants.
I was interested in this, but not to vote. I don’t know enough of the choices. I just wanted to find out who and what were getting dissed these days.
While I was there, I cast my vote for The Last Days of American Crime. I’ve seen a few films in my day, and that was one of the worst, featuring a truly bizarre performance from Michael Pitt, who once seemed to have a respectable career but now seems to be headed for the unenviable status as the Grade-Z Nicolas Cage.
Politician named after Nazi leader sweeps to victory – with 85% of the vote.
The Daily Mail article is actually pretty interesting. I learned a lot about the largely unsuccessful German colonial efforts in Africa, a subject I knew nothing about.
I think this comment from another thread actually belongs here:
“I was not trying to attract any kangaroos, I can assure you that.”
Sample of the list:
CRAPPING CATS WALL CALENDAR
$23.95 from Amazon.com (price may vary)
Here’s a tasteful gift that will add “a touch of class” to the home of anybody on your holiday gift list who, for whatever insane reason, likes cats. This item is — and here we will directly quote the eloquently descriptive words of the creator, Bo Winston — “a calendar of pooping cats.” It consists of 12 photos of cats pooping, “along with their names and country of origin.”
Dildo was, of course, Bilbo’s long-lost brother.
Sure, it sounds loony, and yet Cambodia has a much lower infection rate than the Dakotas.
And the rest of the USA, for that matter.
In fact, Cambodia has not had a single COVID fatality in a country of 17 million people. Those Cambodians obviously believe that Coronavirus is a real thing, a dangerous one, even though they have not personally lost a loved one to it. That puts them a step ahead of many Americans.
“Otter penis bones are becoming less dense and more breakable due to toxic chemicals trickling into rivers from oil hubs in Canada.”
That’s not the salient point. I think very few of us worry about whether otters can get it up. The key issue is …
“James Aspell, 34, posted photos of his formal application to make his shuttered ‘400 Rabbits Tequila and Mezcal Cocktail Bar’ in Nottingham an official place of meeting for religious worship. He was shown smiling and giving the thumbs-up while mailing the form for the now-reverentially named ‘Church of the Four Hundred Rabbits.’
“His performance is gross and offensive, the worst gayface in a long, long time. It’s horrifically bad.”
“I used to think that it was permissible for a straight actor to play a gay character in some circumstances; now I’m willing to go hard-line against it if it means denying James Corden even one future role.”
Wait! James Corden is straight? Go figure.
I once had a girlfriend in that same category. Damn, I miss her.
By the way, the master is a multi-cultural kind of Iron Crotch guy. His Chinese friends call him Wang, but his American friends call him “Dick.”
I’m pretty sure Trump’s people did not create this site.
You may also enjoy the Donald Trump library. His library even includes a “grift shop” which offers “Grab a Pussy Cookies” and “Notes of a Stable Genius” notebooks. The library itself includes a “Covid Memorial”, a “Wall of Criminality,” an “Alt-Right Auditorium,” the “Hall of Enablers” and a “Criminal Records Room.”
Perhaps best of all, see what happens when you go to loser.com
I’m thinkin’ those scientists may want to tinker with their formulas a bit. Put Bella Hadid and Gal Gadot side by side and ask a hundred people, fifty of each gender, which is more beautiful. I’m guessing Gal wins something like 75-25.
You don’t need to use Gal Gadot in the example. I’m sure you can find a hundred famous women who would beat Hadid by similar margins.
In last night’s The Undoing, the character of Hugh Grant’s persnickety mother corrected Nicole Kidman for saying something like “none of them are going.”
She said “None IS going, dear. None is a contraction of no one, and therefore must be singular.”
None of that is right.
You can tell from the sentence I just wrote above that “none” is not merely an abbreviation of “no one” or “not one.” You can’t substitute either of those into my sentence without creating gibberish. In that sentence it replaces or contracts “not any.” Even though “None of that is right” is correctly written in the singular, it is not because “none” means “no one” or “not one.” “None” is a completely separate word which can also replace “not any,” and the expression “not any” can be singular or plural depending on context (see rule three below).
Here is the rule for indefinite pronouns in American English, in three parts:
1. Always singular: each, either, neither, one, someone, somebody, anyone, anybody.
2. Always plural: several, few, both, many.
3. Either singular of plural depending on the prepositional phrase that follows or is implied: some, any, none, all and almost all.
Rule three examples:
With prepositional phrase stated:
“None of the milk is missing”; but “None of the elephants are missing.”
“All of the milk is missing”; but “All of the elephants are missing.”
With prepositional phrase implied:
“Were any batters truly successful against Koufax?”
“No, none were.”
“Are any elephants missing?”
“No, none are.”
Note that if you answer the baseball question with “nobody,” which would not take a qualifying prepositional phrase, the verb must be singular, per rule 1. “Nobody” is always singular, with no exceptions.
“Were any batters truly successful against Koufax?”
“Hell no! Nobody was.”
To get back to the original point, Ms. Kidman’s character was correct to say “None of them are going.” It is possible that the character of Hugh Grant’s mother was supposed to be English, and therefore unfamiliar with the conventions of American grammar, but in that case she had no business correcting an American. (I guess Kidman’s character is supposed to be an American. She dropped her Aussie accent, except for the word “your,” which she can’t master with an American accent.)
Not to mention uncomfortable.
It gives new meaning to the word “prick” in sex acts.
Take it from me.
It’s as unpleasant as it sounds, but after my divorce and the death of all my pet skunks, porcupine-fucking was my only outlet. Thank heaven I was not in Florida at the time. I would have had to go to every one of their little dens and introduce myself as a porcupine-sex offender.
This website alleges that there are other unusual animal-related laws in Florida. For example, it is against the law in Miami for a man to force his wife to dress as a parrot. Florida women hate a parrot, which is weird because they love a cockatoo. Maybe three.
I’m kinda offended that they didn’t ask “other CRAP” for a plug. You might call it a butt plug.
“A TAKEAWAY restaurant has been ridiculed after a punctuation oversight left it named ‘Anus Kitchen‘ on flyers.”
– where the back door is always open
– try the rump roast
Their celebrity spokesman is Sir Mixalot who says “ya gotta have ‘much more back’ … ribs”
“Every day I took a different drug or intoxicant and drew myself under the influence.”
This is unbelievable to me for many reasons.
Who even thought that Larry the Cable Guy could name a college, let alone root for one?
And even more significantly, who could have guessed that Larry the Cable Guy had teeth?
So I knocked my front tooth out celebrating the Husker win and I have a thing to put in my mouth to look like I didn’t lose a tooth until I get a permanent one however I don’t like wearing it plus I look like a hockey tough guy…. kinda. pic.twitter.com/VL8FXAkrih
— Larry The Cable Guy (@GitRDoneLarry) November 16, 2020
Joking aside, the distinguished Lawrence the Cable Gentleman (I think his real name is Dan) attended the University of Nebraska at Lincoln. I’m going to take a wild guess that he did not major in quantum physics or classical languages.
Some examples from the article:
- An unfathomably high amount of document shredding.
- Finally follow through on campaign pledge to stand in middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody.
- Award Twitter user @920274749_000 the Presidential Medal of Valor for unwavering support over past four years.
Not mentioned: While the Preisdent has run up some impressive numbers of COVID victims he killed passively through neglect, there’s still many more he could kill actively by holding more crowded and maskless rallies.
“I want my kids to grow up in a world without desperate A-listers belting out some dumb-as-shit song about voting.”
I hope they allow non-A-listers to keep doin’ their thing. I never made a move without consulting Danny Bonaduce’s blog.
I have to go with the ‘Duce because Screech had to shut his blog down when he went to jail.
Ania Sowinski in The Devil’s Violinist
For the life of me, I can’t figure out why the Prince of Darkness would need a violinist. Especially if it is “THE” violinist, sort of implying that he employs exactly one violinist. I guess it cuts down on the overhead if he only uses one and pipes the music in throughout all of hell. I wonder if his sound system extends to other places filled with sinners, like purgatory
But why use a violin? If he wants spooky, hellish background music, he’d be better off with a theremin.
And if he wants music that will subject sinners to the unending tortures of eternal damnation, I have one word: bagpipes.
I’m guessing that the Evil One will not even accept people who play the steel drums or the banjo. Too fucking cheerful. People in hell are supposed to suffer, but nobody ever feels bad while listening to the banjo.
Oh, wait, I just realized … he will accept banjo-playing sinners, but they have to spend all eternity playing the fuckin’ bagpipes.
“I’m angry and confused, and I demand that election officials cease being mean immediately. All this vote counting completely flies in the face of my emotions, and I won’t stand for it. We won’t let the Democrats make me cry.” At press time, an angry mob of Trump supporters had surrounded a vote counting facility to demand election officials make the president smile.
Pretty slick. She would have escaped scot-free except for a competency hearing that had been scheduled. A court admin saw that the charges had been dropped and inquired about dropping the hearing – and then the frazil hit the fire.