It’s been a tough stretch for the Prince of Darkness. At one time he was willing to challenge God himself, leading a rebellion of fallen angels in a battle for control of existence. And now? Plant-based burgers.
When that fails, he already has his next plan on the docket. His laboratories are busy, removing the gluten from everything. Yes, Satan is against gluten, that precious protein that God himself placed in our wheat.
Booker, Pocahontas, Beto and Klobuchar will go on Wednesday. Like any good sporting season, the ceremony will begin with the National Anthem and Klobuchar throwing out the first binder.
The second night will feature Hickenlooper …
… and some lesser, almost insignificant figures like Biden, Sanders, Harris and Mayor Pete. (Have you guessed that I can’t spell his last name? I know it begins with “Butt.”)
This night will also include a ringer, which could be a lot of fun. Do you recall the episode of Veep when Jonah only qualified for the second tier of candidates and therefore had to debate against Dumbledore? Well, Biden and Sanders will have to contend with their own Dumbledore – new age guru Marianne Williamson, who somehow made the cut into the final 20, even though the governor of Montana (a Democrat who won a red state) was eliminated. She will present a fascinating and possibly strange contrast to the mainstream pols.
This promo reminds me of a promotional campaign I created for a local bar. Remember when the Mayan calendar was ending? We had an end of the world party with a special kicker – if the world really ends, all Mayans drink free!
This reminds me of the time I challenged Richard Sanders (Les Nessman on WKRP) to a UFC fight. Why do you think nobody has seen him the last decade? I kicked his buckeye-award-winning ass so bad he won’t come out in public.
“We didn’t have tornadoes here until we started putting in the traffic circles. Cause, on account of — you want to know why? When people go round and round in circles, it causes disturbance in the atmosphere, and causes tornadoes.”
For all of the money we are spending, NASA should NOT be talking about going to the Moon – We did that 50 years ago. They should be focused on the much bigger things we are doing, including Mars (of which the Moon is a part), Defense and Science!
I went to the source and asked this question to an 8-Ball.
The twist? It’s not a horror film. It’s apparently a heart-warmer that is being created with Mattel’s full support. “A cryptocurrency investor who loses faith in his own judgment finds renewed hope in a magical 8-Ball that reunites him with his estranged daughter.”
Seriously, this link offers a perfect example of a lurid, irresponsible headline. (Clickbait? I guess I fell into their trap.)
Here’s the actual story beneath it:
“According to current modeling, it’s likely that 2006 QV89, which is on the risk list but not the priority list, will pass Earth at a distance of more than 4.2 million miles. The ESA does note that the likelihood of its model being off is less than one-hundredth of one percent.”
Oh, this is all in fun. There’s no need for outrage.
Having spent a lot of time in both Ohio and Indiana, I’d have to say they might have things reversed. Your best chance to have fun in Indiana is to sneak across the border to Cincinnati or Louisville. Indiana has a lakefront on the Great Lakes, and they even fucked that up. Gary may be the ugliest place in the United States, and even gives come competition to the hell-holes of the third world.
Not only did he deny saying something he said on tape, but what’s more, he demanded an apology from the sources that reported it! Ya gotta love the cojones on the guy, but you have to think about something else. Nixon had to resign because he was recorded committing a crime. If that happened to Trump, he’d just deny that it happened. He’d claim it was “fake news,” and life would go on.
By the way, in an interview which will air tomorrow, Trump was asked about the incident and called her nasty again! “That’s okay for her to be nasty,” Trump told Piers Morgan.