Shatner performs Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer. The first minute and a half are just the usual cornball Christmas shtick, albeit Shatnerized. After that, however, it is absolutely surreal.
“That’s over $2 (per stick) for a stick you can probably find on the street.” Righteous bucks!
Now where’s my flying car?
“Border Patrol agent Dennis Dickey had come up with a hair-brained (sic) scheme to tell the world the gender of his unborn child. He planned to fire a gun at a target that would explode with either pink or blue powder.”
“Paul Manafort and Julian Assange did indeed meet on occasion to discuss how collusion was a bad thing they would ‘never, ever’ do. Sure, they met a few times, but the only thing they ever talked about was how much they hate collusion and anyone who participates in collusion.”
“When Kelly asked Trump how much he thought the Joint Chiefs chairman earns, the president responded with a guess of $5 million. The post actually pays less than $200,000. According to the report, when corrected by Kelly, Trump suggested that Gen. Joseph Dunford, the current chairman of the Joint Chiefs, should get a large raise and noted how many stars he had on his uniform.”
OK, two hundred grand isn’t that Trumpian, but there are plenty of perks. For example, each one of those stars can be traded in for a free foot-long at participating Subways, excluding premium sandwiches and double-meat upgrades.
Offer not valid in Alaska or Hawaii.
(This anecdote leads me to believe that Trump must not know his own salary, which is $400,000. Surely he doesn’t think that a military officer would make more than his commander in chief? No. Never mind. He’s not capable of a thought that complex.)
“In a post on her Instagram page, she said she had partnered with a beauty line called Whitenicious to launch a face cream in Lagos, Nigeria’s largest city. The company website describes the Whitenicious x Blac Chyna Collection as an ‘illuminating and brightening cream that lightens without bleaching skin out.’ A jar of the cream, handcrafted with Swarovski crystals, will cost $250.”
Only $250 bucks per jar? Righteous offer!
Who knew that the people in Lagos had that kind of disposable income?
And the oddest thing of all? It stars David Schwimmer.
You thought Ted Cruz was ugly before? Wait until you see this.
He looks like Wolverine’s bratty cousin. You know – the one Wolvie’s mom always referred to as “husky.”
Who could have seen that coming?
So I’m guessing that “Putin opponent” is now the job with the SECOND-shortest life span.
It’s difficult to imagine how one man could say so many dumb things. This guy makes Dan Quayle seem like Isaac Newton. To be fair to Trump, he did actually identify a country with a lot of forest land, which surprises me. I’m surprised that he even knows the name of the country, although I’d be willing to wager he could not find it on a map.
No, they don’t rake the forests in Finland. It would be quite a task. They have approximately 5,000 trees for each person. I’m pretty sure that job would really cut into their sauna time.
But they should!
Just an ordinary day in the Finnish forest ~ Ihan normipäivä suomalaisessa metsässä #Trump #forest #firesafety #raking #forestry #Finland #Finnish #CaliforniaFire #RakingAmericaGreatAgain #rakingtheforest #Suomi #haravointi #metsäpalot #rakingleaves pic.twitter.com/YOKA3D6C2K
— Pyry Luminen (@pyryluminen) November 18, 2018
Wait. There is a kicker:
That must be one kick-ass mini-bar.
The 70-year-old loves squirrels “to the extent that he’s given them names and is allowing them into the house.”
After having observed him for approximately the entire length of my life, I am now officially ready to announce that Bonnie Prince Chuck is kind of a dweeb.
No offense, Brits. Love your country. Just about anything that’s worthwhile in the world is so because of England. But this guy is playin’ cricket with some missing wickets.
(In addition to labeling the press, “The Enemy of the People,” Trump’s legal defense in the Jim Acosta suit was that the President is entitled to decide which reporters can cover him! Gee, I wonder why he lost.)
“Last April, the fragrant state of New Jersey declared this November 17, 2018 the first official Danny DeVito Day, in honor of its most famous native son (suck it, Springsteen). And how does the Penguin feel about this gift? Mixed. ‘Of course, they first told me I could have a beach. Yeah, but they reneged.'”
That headline in quotation marks is misleading. Krasinski didn’t “turn down” Captain America because they never offered it to him. He did, however, realize at audition time that he wasn’t Cap material.
Canada: Land of Excitement
The Supreme Court of Canada agreed Thursday to hear the case of a woman who was ticketed and arrested after she refused to hold onto an escalator handrail.
That fiend! I know Canada doesn’t believe in the death penalty, but they should probably make an exception in this case.
I have to say, though, as dumb as this is, that it must be great to live in a country where the police and the courts have nothing more pernicious than this to occupy their time.
Which reminds me.
One day when I lived in Norway, the major Oslo newspaper had a headline about a purse stolen at the airport. We’re talkin’ a major headline here, giant type, like “Pearl Harbor Bombed” or “Hitler Invades Poland.” And, yes, it was very nice to live in, and especially to raise children in, a country that safe and dull. (Sorry, but you won’t be able to recreate that. I hear that Norway now has sleaze and crime just like everyplace else.)
In a word, yes. Instagram ramblings from Juliette Lewis.
People have called it a meltdown. She says she was being funny. As IBM would say, “You make the call.”
Whitaker also resembles the Marvel character, Kingpin.