Oh, those blessings. How we miss them down here in Dixie. Not many people know it, but Jefferson Davis was a wonderful dancer. And could he put together an ensemble. Now there was a dresser! Not like Lincoln with those long black undertaker coats and those stodgy top hats. Hand he could not even say Dix-uh. He would say Dix-ee. It was not Dix-ee, it was Dix-uh, I say.

Now sing along with me …”

Boy, the way those slaves would sing
Back when cotton was our king
We loved almost everything
Those were the days

And we knew just what was right
Slaves were black and masters white
Mister, we could use a man like ol’ Jeff Davis tonight

Didn’t need no FICA fee
All our labor was for free
To fire help – we used a tree
Those were the days

“The Mayan calendar, which spanned for about 5,125 years starting in 3114 BC — reached its end on December 21, 2012. The date was hailed by conspiracy theorists as being ‘the end of the world’, warning of an apocalyptic disaster. But when nothing happened, it seems these theorists worked out a flaw in their plan. Conspiracy theorists now claim the world could end on this revised date of June 21, 2020. ‘When in 1752 everyone switched to the Gregorian calendar, eight years were lost, which means that technically 2020 is 2012.'”

Who could have dreamed?

In the first ten days of June, Tucker had only two advertisers who ran more spots than the Fox internal cross-promotions

The advertiser exodus has happened despite the fact that Tucker has one of the highest-rated shows on cable – more than 4 million viewers some days.

Another bold strategy, Cotton!

I can’t decide which of his numbers I like best. The Lama’s unique version of “Baby Got Back” is great, and I love it when guest artist Lady Gaga sings “Hello, Dalai” to him, but I think my favorite is when he puts on blackface and does his Al Jolson impersonation on “Mammy.”

The only real disappointment on the album is his odd decision to select NWA’s Fuck the Police for his long-awaited duet with Tony Bennett, although one must concede his timing coincides perfectly with the current protest zeitgeist. The Lama always knows how to read the room.

Other tracks (from the comments):

Dolpopa Don’t Preach
I’m Too Zen (For My Shirt)
It’s A Beautiful Day In The Buddahood
I’m Like A Bird (In A Former Life)
Jonang On Me
Thangka For Being A Friend

and of course
Karma Chameleon

I think he’ll have a ton of big hits.

Big hitter, the Lama.

“The 23-year-old … entered the beauty contest as Miss Buchenwald

Miss Israel did not fare well in that pageant. Miss Buchenwald almost won the coveted title of Miss Hitler. She did well in the heiling competition, but her goosestep just wasn’t as high as Miss Auschwitz’s. I think it would be great if they televise the finals next year. I even wrote them a tag line: “Watch the Miss Hitler pageant – it’s a gas!”

I only linked to the story because the Miss Hitler pageant caught my eye, but there are some interesting details within. The woman in question is accused of being a member of NA, an extremely far-right group that the UK has banned and designated as a terrorist organization. “She denied being an NA member despite attending the group’s rallies,” and being the former Miss Buchenwald.

The venue of choice is Frank’s Banquet Hall in Paramus, where it’s always a far-right turn off the interstate.

“VP Mike Pence will love our beautiful mayonnaise fountain”

Frank’s Banquet Hall is a running joke on Colbert’s show. Every time Trump pitches a hissy fit about being unhappy with some venue, Frank’s is there for them. So far they have offered to host the G-7, the State of the Union and The Republican Convention.

(Kidding aside, he wants to tighten the language.)

The other half can’t imagine how that could be possible.

Bringing to mind that great folk song:

“An Irishman, I am, I am, I drinks me Irish booze …
and if you don’t like me Irish song, I’ll throw up on your shoes!”

By the way, I hate to disappoint my fellow stereotypists, but the Irish do not lead the world in per capita alcohol consumption, despite their best efforts. Pussies. They drink a lot, but not as much as Czechs or Germans. They also trail behind Lithuania and Moldova, and consume about the same amount of alcohol as the French or most Eastern Europeans.

Godwin’s Law:

“As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1”.

Like this:

The best comment on Trump’s church visit came from Sulu:

Also, he would be good as head of the newly formed Ministry of Silly Standing

He would be the only Silly Walker and Stander to employ “vicious dogs and ominous weapons” to enforce proper silly posture.