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Aroooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Joe Flaherty through the years.

Joe’s hilarious impersonation of William F. Buckley Jr.

Variety’s obituary here.

Joe, at 82, was the oldest member of the original SCTV cast. He was 82, about 13 years older than the youngest, Catherine O’Hara. He is the third member of the original SCTV cast (seen below) to pass, following John Candy and Harold Ramis. The four living members are Andrea Martin, Catherine O’Hara, Eugene Levy and Dave Thomas.

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Although SCTV was originally a Canadian show, that original cast featured three Americans: Ramis (Chicago), Martin (Portland, Maine) and Flaherty (Pittsburgh). That was the maximum allowed, because the rules prevalent at the time demanded that at least 50% of the performers had to be Canadian.

(Canadians Martin Short and Rick Moranis joined the cast later.)

Below, Joe Flaherty discusses the early days of SCTV with Jen Candy, John’s daughter. What a great, nostalgic visit with a charming man! When the hour was up, I wanted another two hours. I was deeply disappointed that Jen never got him on for a second appearance. (Curse you, pandemic.)


As Joe points out in that interview, he tool an unusual path toward Second City stardom. He was the classic late bloomer. After some college, the Air Force, and acting classes, he was already 28 when he joined Second City Chicago – as a stage manager! It was quite a while before he got to perform, and that happened only because the rest of the cast refused to work with Gerrit Graham on a road show, so Joe was plugged in as a desperation choice.

I really hope this is an internet hoax:

When asked about the price tag, a local Balenciaga sales representative, Geoffrey Spicoli, replied:


CNN:

A state representative in Michigan claimed on social media on Wednesday night that he had photo evidence of “illegal invaders” arriving at Detroit Metro Airport. One of the two photos he posted on X showed an Allegiant Air plane. The other photo showed three buses. He wrote: “Happening right now. Three busses just loaded up with illegal invaders at Detroit Metro. Anyone have any idea where they’re headed with their police escort?”

The illegal invaders turned out to be the Gonzaga basketball players, who were arriving to play in the Sweet 16 round of the NCAA Tournament.

When somebody pointed out his error, the dim-witted pol responded (I’m not making this up): “Sure kommie. Good talking point.”

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Your elected representatives at work!

“In a recent Reddit thread, users offered thousands of different answers to the question, ‘What’s the best nude scene Hollywood has ever produced?'”

I’ll tell you numbers 2-6. Number one is a scene you might not expect.

2. True Detective
3. Total Recall (three breasts scene)
4. Fast Times
5. Boogie Nights
6. Wild Things

There can be only one.

This collaborative effort between the Saints and our fans has led to great ‘ball pig’ names like Pablo Pigasso, Alternative Fats, Boarack Ohama, Slumhog Millionaire …”

The Saints have also come under fire for other promotions as well. In addition to Ladies Nights and other traditional promotions, they used to host an annual Atheist Night.

The premise: guy fakes his own death to escape debt collection.

I think I’ve mentioned before that I once faked my own death to break up with a stalking ex-girlfriend. To this day, she still places flowers on my grave.


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Clarification: I didn’t really do that, but I thought about it. I finally managed to get rid of her by doing something very similar to dying. I moved to Hungary.

To make a long story much longer, some reminiscences follow.

Continue reading “Lali Gonzalez naked in Rest in Peace (2024)”

Liam Neeson Won’t Imitate Leslie Nielsen in ‘Naked Gun’ Reboot”

Do you think Liam was chosen because he has the same initials?

More important, will the new Nordberg imitate O.J.? Does he have to do it offscreen as well? If so, I have a casting suggestion – is Oscar Pistorius out of jail yet? Wait! What am I saying? O.J. is out of jail. Time for his comeback.

The film will be produced by Seth MacFarlane. For reasons not known to me, David Zucker, whose team created the Naked Gun trilogy as well as the original Police Squad TV series, has been completely excluded from the development of the new one. Pat Proft, who co-wrote the Naked Gun trilogy, said: “I’m not pleased. It may come out and may be great — and good for that — but I sure as fuck should be writing it. I should have done this one.”

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This is a series about really, really old cops.

  • Remember when Danny Glover said, “I’m too old for this shit”? Well, he would have been about three decades too young for this shit.
  • Remember how old Abe Vigoda seemed as Detective Fish on Barney Miller? Either of these guys could be Fish’s dad.
  • Rentnercops are older than Shatnercops.
  • Remember when George Costanza fled the angry mob on a disability scooter? Well, he could easily have gotten away from a pursuit by these guys.

OK, I’m out of references. The title means “retired cops.” The premise is that staff shortages force two long-retired detectives back into action. If some scenes look too ridiculous for a crime show, I suppose that’s because IMDb bills the show as a crime comedy. Yeah, I know, it’s hard to tell with Germans. There are normally not that many laughs in an autopsy, but that is one zany nation! It’s almost as if Jim Carrey started his own race of people.

The entire episode is online for free. The nudity starts around 13:28. I give this episode a +2 on the Eurocrap scale.

Eurocrap Plusses:

“Seasons in the Sun” in German, right after the intro, starting at about the thirty second mark.

Death by crossbow in an office

Autopsy nudity

Eurocrap Minuses:

No green light in the autopsy room.

That could be:

  • The opening act for Air Supply
  • A grade-B softcore film about the Women’s Army Corps. As Mr. Skin might say, “You’ll WAC off.”
  • How Big Guy got the idea for the Turkey Drop.

It is none of the above. It is literally aquatic rodents in parachutes, and it’s a surprisingly interesting story – recorded on video.

It’s the King James version, or as Lee Greenwood calls it, the King Jim Bob version.

The former President notes that it is his favorite book.

It would be fun if some reporters would ask him some questions about the Bible. I would ask “Which was your favorite of the 12 Evangelists?”, just to see if he would catch on.

Strategic Maple Syrup Reserves” at a 16-year low.

Many countries keep strategic reserves of essential commodities: petroleum, seeds, grain, uranium, medical supplies, etc. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that Canada is the only country that considers maple syrup an essential commodity.

I can’t rate this any higher than fifth for total Canadianess since I’ve been collecting these. My picks for the top four are as follows:

Number 4: “Authorities seize 12 tons of beaver penises” with a street value of $24 million. This one turned out to be fake news.

Number 3: “Try not to let moose lick your car

Number 2: “Man uses hockey stick to herd beaver out of traffic”

At number 1, and very hard to topple from the summit: “Woman hits moose on way to visit sister who hit moose”

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In case you never noticed, we have a dedicated tag for Canadiana.

The professor offered the following bullshit explanation:

“Students will analyze what makes a good parody, learn how to pay homage to other artists and learn about the social context when Yankovic skyrocketed to fame in the 1980s and 1990s. It just gives us an avenue to start studying the 20th century and pop culture in the 20th century.”

The article offered the following actual explanation:

“Professor Warwick has worked with Yankovic in the past and considers him a friend.”

“You! You there!” he shouted to a boy on the street. “What day is this?”

The boy gave a puzzled look. “It’s Shatmas, sir.”

“Good! I haven’t missed it. Here, lad. There’s a big, juicy turkey of a Shatner movie in the bargain bin at Walmart. Buy it and deliver it to my house.”

There are those who, with apologies to pretenders like Alexander Graham Bell and the not-as-great Gretzky, call Bill Shatner the greatest of all Canadians. That’s nonsense. Why restrict his importance to a single frozen land with fewer than 40 million inhabitants? He is simply the greatest HUMAN, possibly excepting the anonymous inventor of the wheel, and of course Bobby Troup.

Today is his 93rd birthday, or as I call it, New Year’s Day. Different people reckon the start of the new year with different methods, and have varying ways to calculate how many there have been. At the end of September in our calendar, the Jewish community will welcome the year 5785. The Chinese just celebrated the beginning of 4721. In a site dedicated to crap, we have no choice but to count the birth of William Shatner as the beginning of time (or at least any time worth living in), so today is the beginning of the year 93 A.S. (Anno Shatner).

Referencing the great day to the common calendar, the day known to most of the world as March 22, 1931 was the greatest day in history, for it marked the birth of the promised one … the golden child … the chosen one. Know him. Embrace him. For as surely as crapped is the past tense of crap, Shat is the past tense of shit.

Like most of his followers, I celebrate by getting into costume and re-enacting one of his many career highlights. I normally choose this all-time classic:

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During the pandemic I could not re-create that fight, since the scene requires two actors, which was inappropriate in the era of Coronavirus and social distancing, so that year I chose to re-enact the fight scene from White Comanche, since Shatner plays both parts.

This year: The Scoopy Players, my community theater company, will present a stage version of Incubus, Shat’s offbeat 1966 movie performed entirely in Esperanto.

I did not make that film up. The entire movie is below.

Other tidbits:

1. Shat once recorded a Christmas album. He sang such classics as Feliz Navidad and Rudolph.

2. There are some great comments on the Shatmas page from 2022.

From the proprietor of a site that worships crap, stay crappy, Bill. You have already lived long and prospered, so just keep up the … er … good work.

“Bianca Censori’s recent visit to Melrose Tanning Salon in West Hollywood turned heads as she donned yet another scandalous ensemble.”

Sample:

scandalous-bianca-censori-big-breasts-bare-ass-7-1

Perhaps more interesting than Bianca’s fashion sense is Kanye’s. He’s gone Full Herman Munster with the shoes, and Full Torgo with the calves and knees.

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Footnotes for the pop culture impaired:

Herman Munster, from “The Munsters,” a cheesy B&W sitcom from the mid-60s.


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Torgo from “Manos, the Hands of Fate” (1966), a no-budget “horror” film often ridiculed as the worst movie ever released (#2 on IMDb’s lowest rated).


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Norman’s Corner was written by Larry David. It lasted one episode. It was awful. I’m surprised they let it run through the first episode instead of replacing it with a test pattern about halfway. I shut it off after six minutes, and I like both Gilbert and Larry David a lot.

Norman’s Corner very nearly prevented Seinfeld from getting the green light, after an NBC executive, who was considering David and Seinfeld’s pitch, allegedly asked, “Isn’t Larry David the guy who wrote that piece of shit pilot with Gilbert Gottfried?”