I became aware last week that scams like this are all over the internet. I went through all my coin jars and found some wheat pennies, so I went to the internet to see what they were worth. Even in very fine circulated condition, the ones I found were worth a whole five cents! But in the course of looking it up, I stumbled on some ads where people were selling the same coins in the same condition for hundreds of dollars. Hitler kinda had a point about The Big Lie. If you tried to sell those pennies for fifty cents, nobody would buy them, but place a $500 tag on them, and the sales price itself becomes a technique to convince people of their worth. Do they actually sell many? I guess not. But even one sale to a gullible soul represents free money.
Category: Nonsense
“David Whipple said he originally bought the hamburger July 7, 1999, at the McDonald’s in Logan, Utah, to use in presentations on enzymes and deterioration. Whipple said the burger ended up forgotten in a coat pocket for several years and it ended up with viral fame when he rediscovered it in 2013. He said the burger was placed in a Big Mac tin and remained there for six years before being taken out again this week. Whipple said the burger still has the same appearance as when he bought it and gives off the smell of cardboard.”
Which means the smell has actually improved in the past 20 years.
“Wonder Woman is captured by KISS and forced to dance and sing for them before being taken away by Gene Simmons, if you know what I mean …”
This is an excerpt from “Lynda Carter’s Rock ‘n Roll Fantasy,” in which she does a lot of jiggling.
Truly other crap!
I guess he was celebrating the Chinese year of the rat.
Or maybe the year of the dung beetle.
Either way, happy poo year!
“Thunder Bay man allegedly used harmonica to hold up hotel clerk, steal cellphone.”
He brandished it. I’m not sure whether the clerk thought it was a gun, or was just trying to avoid harmonica music. It was probably the former, because I think the latter only works with bagpipes.
An obvious illustration of Scoop’s Law: No matter how stupid an idea is, many people will believe it.
Curse you, scientists. My dream of untold riches is quashed yet again.
Without my octopods, how am I supposed to place my sports bets?
Then you’re gonna love Kourtney Kardashian’s stupid vagina tricks.
Or not.
And it’s lucky for them that they do, given that they have no choice.
And it’s a lot less work for them that it would be in Saudi Arabia.
“Can we say anything good about 2019? Was there any positive news, a silver lining, a reason to feel hopeful about the future — to believe that we, as Americans, can recognize our common interests, overcome our differences and work together to build a better tomorrow, for ourselves, for our children, and for the world?
Nah.”
“Some of Trump’s defenders have said that if he is impeached by the House but not convicted in the Senate and removed from office, he’s eligible to run for two more terms because the impeachment itself nullifies his first term in office.”
That’s not true, of course, but if it were
1) the Democrats could run Bill Clinton!
2) since the House will probably keep impeaching Trump, he could stay in office forever, possibly even after his death.
Hmmm. No bathing. What’s her real name again? I think maybe I used to date her.
With the holidays upon us, #LSSC is proud to present this brand new animated Christmas classic! #OnceUponImpeachment 🎄🎁
cc @CartoonPres pic.twitter.com/xYQRGiGEo3— The Late Show (@colbertlateshow) December 20, 2019
Well, then, it must be true. Case closed!
We have wondered where exactly Trump got the utterly ridiculous idea that a company called Crowdstrike, owned by a rich Ukrainian, shipped the tell-tale DNC server to Ukraine. (Previous notes on this: 1, 2). Now we are certain.
“One former senior White House official said Trump even stated so explicitly at one point, saying he knew Ukraine was the real culprit because ‘Putin told me.’”
“Trade talks between Captain America and Black Panther didn’t quite pan out, it seems. Wakanda, the fictional home of the Marvel superhero, is no longer listed as a free trade partner of the US.”
This is not from The Onion. It is a real story. The programmers used Wakanda when testing data, and for some reason it was not removed when the system went live.
New career for Rudy Giuliani?
He “is said to have thrown the Pop Tart when he became upset, although the pastry failed to actually hit the woman.”
Florida must have some strange laws. If throwing hard objects and missing the target is considered assault in Florida, it’s a good thing Steve Sax never played for the Marlins.
Counselor Troi shows off a lovely figure in the role of a prostitute in that unforgettable screen nonpareil, Blind Date (1984), from director Nico Mastorakis.
UPDATE: There is also some Kirstie Alley nudity in that film, and she looked incredible!
I don’t like the films of Nico Mastorakis, to say the least, although I believe I can state unequivocally that Island of Death is the Citizen Kane of goat-fucking films. Nico’s tastes are, to put it mildly, eclectic. One of his non-goat-fucking films stars Zsa Zsa Gabor, Billy Barty, Shannon Tweed, Dick Gautier, Yvonne De Carlo, Erik Estrada, Norman Fell, Lou Ferrigno, Little Richard and Bubba Smith.
It’s really a shame that none of them got to fuck a goat. There are some great possibilities there.
On the other hand, Nico’s DVD commentaries are really entertaining – filled with great and unfiltered behind-the-scenes stories and gossip. Who can resist stories about the exploits of the noted wastrel, Oliver Reed, who worked with Nico in Hired to Kill? Of course, the sad part of that is that Oliver Reed pissed away all that great talent so completely that he had to appear in a Nico Mastorakis movie.
Although he never had to fuck a goat.
But from what I have read about Oliver Reed, he wouldn’t have hesitated to do so.
Even when the cameras were not rolling.
“Iconic comic strip The Far Side launched its official website today, which debuted with a selection of classic cartoons, doodles from creator Gary Larson’s sketchbooks, and a letter from the cartoonist himself.”
One man’s crusade against porch pirates! Long video, but worth it.
One of the Santas can be heard saying, “This is my territory.” The two men then came to blows in the middle of the eatery.
A ray gun nose-hair trimmer, Idaho-opoly … and so much less.
“That requirement is cut and dried, said Kathleen Clark, a law professor at Washington University in St. Louis. She cited guidance from the Office of Government Ethics, issued in November 2017, that states federal officials must disclose ‘gifts of legal defenses — in kind or by payment of the fees.‘”
I’m on Trump’s side on this one. It seems to me that his financials, as is, already reflect the value of Rudy’s advice with total accuracy.
To quote Crocodile Dundee, “You can that tinsel? Now THIS is tinsel.”
“Melbourne Childcare Centre Replaces Santa With ‘Sustainability Pirate’ For Christmas Party”
The tots will be treated to a fun anti-Santa slide show from the Sustainability Pirate about how reindeer flatulence is exacerbating the greenhouse gas problem. “Yaarrrr, lads. When we hoist the mainsail, usin’ renewable wind energy we be.”
Although the Sustainability Pirate admits that he has difficulty delivering presents to the good little boys and girls who don’t live on waterfront property.