Love the photo!
Love the photo!
As I’m sure you know, Soros is responsible for most of the evil in the world. He’s the guy responsible for ethnic cleansing, the Khashoggi murder, immigrant caravans, the Kardashians, the designated hitter, reality cooking shows, the DC movies, Siberian gulags, the genocide in Myanmar, my missing sock, 9-11, 7-11, the Oprah book club and the Chinese re-education camps. He even supplied the dogs that Kim Jong Un fed his uncle to.
2018 was a big year for him. This was the first year he passed Satan for the top spot on the Forbes Evil 100. It took him until he was 88 years young to finally pull it off, and oh, did he celebrate. (Two words: double Maalox!)
“When we were kids, and he asked if he could masturbate in front of me, sometimes I’d go, ‘F— yeah I want to see that!’ … It’s not analogous to the other women that are talking about what he did to them. He could offer me nothing. We were only just friends. So sometimes, yeah, I wanted to see it, it was amazing. Sometimes I would say, ‘F—ing no, gross,’ and we got pizza.”
But it was, by the normal standards of festivals, very clean.
Not the Onion. Not a figure of speech.
And I’m not even talking about Kanye!
This stunt reminds me of Guy Caballero, the SCTV character with able legs who always used a wheelchair “for respect.”
I don’t have a great Guy Caballero clip, but here’s SCTV’s take on the 25th reunion show of Leave it to Beaver, with the late John Candy as the Beaver.
“People who voted for Donald Trump in the 2016 presidential election believe men are discriminated against more than LGBTQ people, women and most ethnic minorities.“
What a movie! Reggie Jackson, (fake) Queen Elizabeth, O.J. Simpson and Leslie Nielsen – together at last!
It’s gold, Jerry! Gold!
Some great local traditions that won’t cost you an arm and a leg.
First rule of Texas: you don’t watch Willie while drinking some wimpy thing like a Coors Light, unless you check you dick at the door.
A REAL Texan drinks Lone Star, and don’t let ’em catch you sipping it out of a glass or a freakin’ can. That shit is for chicks and foreign exchange students from places like Estonia and Michigan. It’s Lone Star in a long neck bottle for real men, bubba.
“Pesky, embarrassing bodily functions are simply no match for Febreze’s new ThunderClap Air Horn—just one deafening blast, and that’s all anyone will hear.”
Now THAT is other crap!
It’s The Onion!
More totally useless info:
You’ve undoubtedly heard that station call letters must begin with W east of the Mississippi and K to the West. While this is usually true when new stations are assigned call letters, it was not always that way.
Why do some areas have stations with both K and W prefixes? Three reasons: (1) they moved the border in 1923, so some areas between the Mississippi River and the extended Texas / New Mexico border have been in both the W area and the K area when new call letters were assigned; (2) there was one year in the 1920s when all new stations had to start with K, so it is theoretically possible to have a K station far east of the Mississippi if they were assigned their call letters in that brief period, including several such stations in Pennsylvania; (3) some stations applied for and received an exception, like WACO in Waco, Texas. Here are some exceptions to the Mississippi River rule.
While all broadcast call letters in the USA begin with K or W, they theoretically could begin with N or A as well. So far, the N and A have only been used for military broadcast stations.
New stations must have at least four letters in the call sign. No more “WGN,” for example. One commenter noted an exception: “If a radio or TV station is co-owned with another station with a three-letter callset, it can adopt those same calls. That’s how Baltimore got WJZ-FM in 2008, for example.”
Some call signs are as long as seven letters.
While almost all Canadian stations begin with C, there are some in Newfoundland that begin with V. (Those were assigned before Newfoundland/Labrador became a province in 1949.)
There’s no sense in arresting him because conviction is impossible. How are you going to assemble an jury of twelve people who don’t think Fred Durst should be dropkicked?
From the comment section:
“If I’m that DA, I bring charges even knowing I’d lose. Totally worth it to be the prosecutor in People v. Dope.”
Every Owen Wilson Wow In Chronological Order (1996 – 2017)
Every time Matthew McConaughey has said “Alright” in McChronological Order from Dazed and Confused to The Dark Tower.
Another great take from The Onion
This is the first I’ve heard of the Dominion of Melchizedek, but I did once have a lunch conversation with a guy who was trying to establish his own country with him as king. He was some kind of phony-baloney claimant to some non-existent European throne, and he reasoned that several (rogue) countries would support his recognition as a nation if he could purchase a remote island, since those countries could use his new nation to launder money and other unsavory activities. To make things even more disagreeable, he was essentially a neo-Nazi.
I somehow ended up at lunch with this dude, one of our company’s outside consultants, and the Libyan ambassador to the U.N. (Libya was one of the countries he was pitching his plot to.) I was traveling with the consultant on another matter, but he asked me if I would like to join him at this lunch. I soon realized I was in way over my head, and I barely made it through the lunch with my mouth shut, since the entire meal seemed to consist of an hour of anti-Semitism. The scariest thing to me was that they all spoke so freely in front of me, since I was a total stranger. Creepy experience.
Perhaps Camelot has not disappeared, after all!
Some wags noted on the internet that it’s not toilet paper on his shoe – he’s actually trampling on the Constitution. That can’t be right, because the original Constitution hasn’t been transportable for decades. It’s been too flimsy ever since Lyndon Johnson pissed on it
On a serious note, if I were running the Secret Service, I would not allow the President to get in such a vulnerable position without an agent directly behind him as a shield. (For his safety, not to pick up his napkins or to hide him from photographers.)
Somehow, I think they knew all along that the Hello Kitty Massager was going to find its way into various bodily orifices.
Unfortunately she can’t be Queen of all the Britons, as she is a Swedish girl and it is a Swedish lake.
“Winter penis is very much real, and you and your little pal must prepare yourselves. As the weather gets colder, those of you with a penis may notice shrinkage, decreased erections, and difficulty reaching orgasm. This isn’t due to your dick going into hibernation, but a physical reaction to the cold. ‘Men can expect their penis to shrivel by up to 50% in length and 20% to 30% in girth when the weather gets chilly.'”
I once dated a girl named Winter Penis. She pronounced it “pah-NEE.”
President Trump was considered by the British oddsmakers to be one of the favorites, probably because of this peace-loving declaration:
All kidding aside, Trump probably deserves a Nobel Peace Prize more than Obama deserved his. Obama had done absolutely nothing to earn one except to keep John McCain out of office, while Trump has made an effort to broker peace on the Korean peninsula, and he may yet succeed!
And, to be fair to DJT …
Who would not “bomb the shit out of” ISIS if they could? The problem is finding the pricks when they aren’t surrounded by human shields. But if I could find them in a camp in the desert somewhere, I’d bomb the shit out of ISIS, as well.
Of course I mean the rapin’, killin’ caliphate guys. I would never bomb Joanna Cameron.
“The goal was always to use what the existing literature offered to get some little bit of lunacy or depravity to be acceptable at the highest levels of intellectual respectability within the field.”
“… Sometimes we just thought a nutty or inhumane idea up and ran with it. What if we write a paper saying we should train men like we do dogs—to prevent rape culture? Hence came the ‘Dog Park’ paper. What if we write a paper claiming that when a guy privately masturbates while thinking about a woman (without her consent—in fact, without her ever finding out about it) that he’s committing sexual violence against her? That gave us the ‘Masturbation’ paper. ”
Long, related personal anecdote to follow …