Category: Nonsense

“We got a fresh batch of inside info about Donald Trump in a new bombshell book from former Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham. Trump got a colonoscopy without anesthesia so late night hosts wouldn’t make fun of him, so Jimmy does all of the Trump colonoscopy jokes we were deprived of.”

The two Jimmys had a slightly different take about what was up Trump’s ass:

Fallon: “Yeah, the colonoscopy was no big deal — the only things they found up there were three polyps and Rudy Giuliani.”

Kimmel: “The doctors said the hardest thing about giving Trump a colonoscopy was getting the camera around Mike Pence’s nose.”

Here’s a summary of the late-night reaction

You’re gonna love Muskrat Love, the musical.

If “Muskrat Love: A Celebration of the Songs We Hate to Love” ever goes on the road, I will buy a ticket!

I was disappointed that they failed to include: “Me and You and a Dog Named Boo,” “Feelings,” and of course my all-time favorite, “Seasons in the Sun.”

I had subscribed to HULU to watch Arli$$, but I soon got hooked on watching TV classics. One thing I watched today was the very first episode of SNL (they have every episode since season 30, plus the first five seasons).

Some things I had forgotten, or never knew:

• Michael O’Donoghue was the first person ever to appear on camera on SNL, and his was the first voice to be heard. John Belushi and Chevy Chase were also in the cold open. O’Donoghue and Belushi did the skit, while Chevy basically just came in at the end to say “live from NY …”
• Announcer Don Pardo flubbed the cast intros, calling them the “not for ready prime time players.” There was nothing to do about it because it was live TV, so he pushed forward.
• The first episode credited nine members of the players. In addition to the familiar seven, the list included George Coe (!!) and Michael O’Donoghue, who was also the head writer. I remember O’Donoghue vividly, not only from this show, but also from his work at the National Lampoon, but I didn’t know he was credited as a player in the first show. I didn’t remember Coe having been in the show at all, let alone credited among the original NRFPTP.
• The friggin’ bees were there from the very beginning.

The first show featured two musical guests (Billy Preston and Janis Ian) who did two numbers each. It also featured four stand-up comics: host George Carlin, Valri Bromfield, Albert Brooks and Andy Kaufman. Carlin did several live monologues; Bromfield did one; Brooks provided a short film but did not appear live; Kaufman did his Mighty Mouse bit live – which means he never said a word. There was also a live performance by the Muppets, and it sucked mightily.

That episode was so fully packed with performances that, in contrast to the modern shows, there wasn’t much screen time for the players, and they were credited only on a single typed list, meaning Pardo did not read their names individually. Thanks to Weekend Update, Chevy was an exception. That feature gave him both substantial face time and a chance to identify himself by name. Not only were the “not ready players” shunted aside, but Billy Crystal’s appearance was cut, even though he had killed at dress rehearsal. (And Bromfield was told to cut her five minutes to a tight two.)

The second episode offered the players even less screen time – basically none at all, except for Chevy. Paul Simon was the host and sang about a thousand songs: by himself; with Garfunkel; with a chorus. His two musical guests sang more songs. Garfunkel sang a solo. Simon also played basketball against Connie Hawkins, winning despite the Hawk’s 16-inch height advantage. Given all of that plus the Muppets, Weekend Update, and the Albert Brooks film, there was nothing for the repertory players to do. They came out in their dumb bee costumes, and Simon told them to get lost. That was it. Marv Albert, hosting the one-on-one hoops competition, got more time than all of the players added together. In fact, Bill Bradley of the Knicks, presenting Simon a huge basketball trophy, also got more lines than the “not ready players” – and that wasn’t many lines!

Here’s the official explanation.

Reading between the lines, the reason is this: posting social media pictures and videos of herself in which she is waving her bare ass at the camera is not particularly helpful to support her case that she is a fully mature adult and can behave responsibly without a conservator.

This is bad news for those of us who support this behavior and encourage her to act as immaturely as possible, in the hope of seeing those pictures of her jiggling bare ass. I think, however, that her strategy will only be disappointing to perverts in the short run. If she gains total autonomy, we should soon see her acting totally irresponsibly.

As the good lord intended.