God bless PETA for getting women like Christian Serratos to get naked in public. I got so excited when I saw her that I had to go out and buy a new leather couch, and some mink-lined snakeskin boots. Of course I stopped for lunch while I was shopping. My favorite snack is a Cute Baby Seal Sandwich from my favorite restaurant, Politically Incorrect.

Especially against an SEC powerhouse.

What, no bowl game for Rutgers?

Purdue allowed 56 in the first half before Auburn stopped passing, and sent in the fourth string, the cheerleaders, the band and the special olympians to run out the clock with running plays. Auburn used 10 different ball carriers, some of them still wearing their band uniforms, and those awkward uniforms really hurt their game. It’s illegal to grab a face mask, but the rules are inexplicably silent when it comes to epaulettes.

The number of bowl games may have gotten out of hand. Purdue finished the season 6-7, and set the dubious record of allowing the most points in any half of a bowl game. This wasn’t the first lopsided bowl of the season. Earlier in the month, Army set the record for the greatest margin of victory in a bowl game, with a 70-14 shellacking of Houston.

Well, anyway, the big four play tomorrow, but Notre Dame and Oklahoma face some long odds.

It’s been tough to find much to laugh about this year. But Britain’s most savage satirist is going to give it a go

“Consider the plight of the satirist. I know you’ve got your own plight, and there are only so many plights that you can consider at any one time, and that the plight of the satirist might even seem to you to be one of the easier plights.”

“Theresa May dancing on stage at the Conservative Party conference looked like an uncloaked Dementor on a hen weekend.”

Lady Victoria Hervey bends over at the beach, presenting some aristocratic buns

UPDATE: new bikini today

She’s one of those clueless aristocrats like the ones in movies about the British in India and Africa. You know the ones: “I do say, Jeeves, bring me another gin and quinine, and do shoot that frightful noisy beggar at the gates.” That quote I made up, but here’s a real one from Lady Hervey: “It’s so bad being homeless in winter. They should go somewhere warm like the Caribbean where they can eat fresh fish all day.”