The Cracked headline is right. I usually feel confident that I know the difference between reality and urban myth, but I actually did think that Mama Cass choked on some food.

As it turns out, “Elliot’s sandwich was sitting on the table next to her, untouched, according to the police investigation.”

“In reality, the coroner’s report showed that she died of a heart attack due to a ‘fatty myocardial degeneration due to obesity.’ So her death ultimately was due to her weight, but somehow the world’s comedians decided there wasn’t quite enough of a fat joke in that.”

“Let me finish. Let me finish. Answer me: Did you or did you not try to put a new spin on the classic Christmas tale? The nation needs answers.”

“At press time, Universal Pictures had banned Acosta from doing any press interviews for their film.”

“The Immigration and Nationality Act of 1965 says migrants can claim asylum regardless of how they crossed the border and some legal experts have said the changes could violate that law.”

Wait! So what? Since when did Trump worry about some wimpy-ass laws? He and his team don’t need no stinkin’ badges.

He has already declared that the President doesn’t have to obey any laws he considers unconstitutional. In essence, this means he doesn’t have to obey any laws at all, since he can simply say he considers any inconvenient ones to be unconstitutional. Of course, the Supreme Court can overrule him, but that takes time, and he’s got them on his team now …

So laws are merely pieces of paper to be crumpled and discarded.

Those are some amazing numbers. I guess it must be a seller’s market, because Harper has been hot and cold. The biggest plus is that he’s only 26 and probably has his best years ahead of him, but he has batted below .250 in two of the last three years, and is averaging only 29 homers and 91 RBI per year in that period.

If that’s Harper’s market value, how the hell much would Mike Trout be worth on the open market?

Anyway, back to the point …

The White Sox are supposedly pursuing Harper, but several people have concluded that only about three or four teams in the game (1) can afford him; and (2) can offer him a chance at a ring. The Sox are never mentioned in that group. NBC Sports thinks he’s destined for the Phillies, but acknowledges the interest shown by the White Sox.

I have stated this many times, but if I were his age and had his talent, I would proactively try to play in Colorado, where my talents would produce the best results. Coors Field is a place where a hitter like Altuve could approach .400 and a slugger like Stanton could challenge Bonds’ homer record without any help from the needles. Playing there for a decade would punch Harper’s ticket for Cooperstown. All of that would be true at any time, but there is a special bonus in doing it now, because the Rockies already have a contending team without him, so he could be their entry pass into the post-season.

Can they afford him? I dunno. That part of the equation is beyond my pay grade, but if I were their owner and knew that Harper was interested, I’d try to find the money.

The latest White House shenanigans.

First Sanders claimed that reporter Acosta “put his hands on a young woman.” This lie was ridiculous enough because the press conference was filmed, but then she doubled down by issuing a fake video produced by Infowars to support her claim.

It doesn’t seem to me that Sanders would have either told the lie or presented the crudely edited video on her own authority. Not because she lacks the initiative, but because she’s not totally stupid.

Oh, I just realized that Sean Spicer claimed the 2017 inaugural crowd size was larger than the one in 2009, when evidence clearly demonstrated the contrary, and he’s not stupid either.

I can’t imagine who could have been behind these obvious and foolish lies. Only a complete idiot would have made the decision to do this.

Oh, never mind.

A look at the exit polls

The sharpest divisions are, in order of the distance between them: race, religion, age, gender, education. (Age and gender are actually about even in terms of the splits.)

In general, minorities voted 76% blue, compared to 44% for whites.

In general, Protestants and Evangelicals voted 42% blue, compared to 60% for all others. This is a key division because the two groups are not only sharply divided, but of nearly equal size.

In general, people under 45 voted 61% blue, compared to 49% for older Americans. (Surprisingly, people under 45 represent only about 1/3 of the voters.)

In general, women voted 59% blue, compared to 47% for men.

In general, the college educated voted 59% blue, compared to 49% for others.

Here’s an interesting fact I never noticed before: there are no additional significant splits within the minority votes. Younger minorities vote like their elders. Female minorities vote like their male counterparts. College-educated minorities vote like those without educations. This is completely opposite to the white group, which is deeply divided in all respects: males are more conservative; older people are more conservative; and the poorly educated are more conservative.

On the basis of the aggregated data, education doesn’t seem to divide Americans as deeply as other factors, but that is misleading because of a point I just noted: educated minorities vote exactly the same as uneducated minorities. When you look at the splits among whites alone, they become more sharply defined. That is Trump’s base: the poorly educated white people. And that’s the them-vs-us that defines America at the moment. It’s the uneducated white people against everyone else, and they are more than 40% of the electorate, so they are pouring red all over the ballot boxes. (See the chart below)

If you consolidate the info in that chart, it looks like this:

Voted Democratic Voted Republican
whites with no college degree 37% 61%
everyone else 64% 34%

 

There is no specific exit poll data for older white men with no degree, but you have to figure that is the truly major red territory. It may split 4-1 for the GOP. President Trump and some of his surrogates know exactly how to play to that audience. (Sean Hannity is a good example of someone who not only plays to them, but is actually one of them. Trump himself is not an older, uneducated white man, but you would certainly assume he was if you came out of a coma not knowing who he is, then met him socially.)