You probably remember her as the sexy chopper pilot on Wings. Her character had a relationship with the slacker brother (Steven Weber). She was a beautiful woman who generally created an interesting, complex character. One wonders why her career was as limited as it was. Here’s her obit in THR.

To my knowledge, her career nudity consisted of nothing more than this quick flash in Kate’s Addiction (1999).

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Sally Kellerman passed away about a week ago and I missed it.

The Variety writers did their usual very thorough job when doing a show-biz obituary, and we all know about her beautiful and sexy speaking voice, so let’s discuss things nobody knows about her.

In 1971, when she was already an established star from her work in M*A*S*H, she and her then-partner collaborated on an experimental film called Venus, which was apparently such a dud that it screened in only a few arthouse theaters, including only one theater in LA for one night. Fortunately, the LA Times had a hard-working critic named Kevin Thomas who made a point of going there that night to review it. There was no internet or cable TV in that era, and the film was too trippy for broadcast TV to be interested, so it disappeared into film oblivion. To my knowledge, there is no extant copy. We would not know about it at all, if not for three things: (1) the LA Times reviewed it, as mentioned; (2) Kellerman mentioned it several times in her autobiography because there was footage that she was not expecting (she had not known the camera was rolling); (3) Playboy included a single frame from it in one of those “Sex Stars of 19XX” recaps.

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While we are on the subject of her most obscure performances, I can name two more from her pre-M*A*S*H days:

She was one of the Many Loves of Dobie Gillis in the early 60s. (Fully dressed, of course.)

And she took a bath on screen (nothing showing) in an utterly obscure Canadian series called Seaway, which ran for only a single season in 1965, and has attracted a whopping 47 votes at IMDb. This would normally be lost to the ages alongside Venus, except for the legendary internet encyclopedist named OZ, who has been chronicling the antics of sexy celebrities for more than 20 years, eventually covering just about anything and everything you can think of, even Sally’s performance in Seaway!

Well, of course she also did some nudity in real movies:

Film, Year, (Her approximate age)

M*A*S*H, 1969, (31)

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Brewster McCloud, 1970 (32)

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A Reflection of Fear, 1973 (35)

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Serial, 1980 (42)

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Ready to Wear, 1994 (56)

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Boynton Beach Club, 2005 (67)

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That’s right, She was still whippin’ em’ out at age 67 – and she looked pretty good!

They now have to change the Flintstones song to air the show in Florida, since children will automatically assume that Fred was having a “gay old time” with Barney, sans womenfolk. From now on: “we’ll have a he-man time.”

The passage of this bill drew immediate ire from Marcia Straight Harden, the descendants of the great reporter Macho Talese and former PGA star Studs Brewer, as well as the descendants of the pilots who flew the Enola Hetero.

I have to admit I was a bit surprised by this announcement. They actually broke in to announce it as a news bulletin, interrupting my viewing of The Rugged, Totally Manly Caballero. These sorts of things can be disconcerting in the USA. Perhaps my friend and I should move to Gutsy, Red-Blooded Paree.

There have been many beautiful film stars across the globe over the century or so of cinema history, so I can’t just single one out. I’m not saying that Monica Bellucci is the sexiest ever.

But I’m also not saying she isn’t.

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In this film Mastroianni acts like he’s almost bored looking at Monica Bellucci’s body. Of course, that may just be Mastroianni’s acting, because he always kinda seems bored and wearied by life, only slightly bemused by the ironic futility of his own existence. At any rate, I’m not saying I could never get tired of looking at her. Given human nature, I guess it happens with almost every couple, not matter how perfect they seem. If I had looked at Monica naked every day, perhaps I would eventually have become jaded and blase. But I would surely have loved a chance to find out.

Monica’s early nude scenes in chronological order (.gif)

Some of her best modeling shots: (1, 2, 3)