FDA approves smaller condoms for American men because regular ones are too big

“After a study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine showed that the average American’s penis is one inch shorter than the minimum 6.69 inch length requirement of condom manufacturers, the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has approved smaller condoms. A 2014 study conducted on 1,661 American men from Indiana University found that the average penis length was only 5.57 inches.”

UPDATE:

From the comment section:

This story is probably apocryphal, but I heard it years ago. During WWII, the U.S. was sending military supplies to the Soviet Union. Stalin requested condoms, but asked that they be 18″ long so as to fit the average Russian soldier. FDR agreed and had the condoms manufactured, but had each one (or each box, I’m not sure) stamped “Texas Medium.” I’ve heard that the reason for the request might have actually been to cover rifle barrels to keep them clear and the nonstandard size simply to fit longer guns. But regardless of its historical accuracy, the story is too good not to share.

Another apocryphal story I heard as a child (that was completely unrelated to genital size) was about the Bronx River. The story I heard that was during the Revolutionary War, a British Admiral looking at a map, decided he could win a battle by sailing his ships up the Bronx River to get in behind General Washington’s troops. Unfortunately for the Admiral all the ships ran aground and General Washington was able to escape. That was because the Bronx River is (and presumably was) a river in name only. In reality it barely constitutes a stream. I’ve never been able to find any documentation of such an event. I asked a professor of mine that taught a class on Bronx history and he hadn’t heard anything about it. But if I ever write a screenplay about the Revolutionary War, I’m going to include how the battle of the Bronx River was won by General Washington’s men using 18 inch “Colonial Medium” condoms on their musket barrels.

One thought on “FDA approves smaller condoms for American men because regular ones are too big

  1. This story is probably apocryphal, but I heard it years ago. During WWII, the U.S. was sending military supplies to the Soviet Union. Stalin requested condoms, but asked that they be 18″ long so as to fit the average Russian soldier. FDR agreed and had the condoms manufactured, but had each one (or each box, I’m not sure) stamped “Texas Medium.” I’ve heard that the reason for the request might have actually been to cover rifle barrels to keep them clear and the nonstandard size simply to fit longer guns. But regardless of its historical accuracy, the story is too good not to share.

    Another apocryphal story I heard as a child (that was completely unrelated to genital size) was about the Bronx River. The story I heard that was during the Revolutionary War, a British Admiral looking at a map, decided he could win a battle by sailing his ships up the Bronx River to get in behind General Washington’s troops. Unfortunately for the Admiral all the ships ran aground and General Washington was able to escape. That was because the Bronx River is (and presumably was) a river in name only. In reality it barely constitutes a stream. I’ve never been able to find any documentation of such an event. I asked a professor of mine that taught a class on Bronx history and he hadn’t heard anything about it. But if I ever write a screenplay about the Revolutionary War, I’m going to include how the battle of the Bronx River was won by General Washington’s men using 18 inch “Colonial Medium” condoms on their musket barrels.

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