“White House counselor Kellyanne Conway announced Sunday evening she will leave her post at the end of the month while her husband, George Conway, said he was withdrawing from The Lincoln Project, both citing a need to focus on their family.”

(The family crisis is real. They have several adolescent children, so there’s home schooling, and the usual teen angst, and one of their daughters is seeking emancipation at 15. That daughter holds fierce anti-Trump convictions, but she says that’s not the reason she seeks her freedom.)

When you get right down to it, any story is improved by a pool boy. Even Road House, the single greatest achievement of mankind, could be better if Ben Gazzara had a pool boy (as he probably did in The Big Lebowski). Consider Love’s Labors Lost, Dante’s Purgatorio, the book of Leviticus or Finnegans Wake. Great works all, but not exactly page-turners for today’s students. Why? No pool boy. You could probably even get through Moby Dick if Ahab had a pool boy waiting for him on shore.

In fact, I considered at one time amending the law to read that no story can be worth reading UNLESS it includes a pool boy.

But I canceled that amendment when I realized a story could be equally interesting with a cabana boy.

Anyway, following Scoop’s law, I was filled with hope when I read this story:

Jerry Falwell Jr. Resigns from Liberty University Amid Pool Boy Sex Allegations

I was kinda disappointed. Oh, sure, it’s entertaining that Jr. liked to watch Mrs. Jr. fucking the pool boy, but I was really hoping it was going to be about Jr. himself having a little cuddle with said youth.

By the way, the pool boy is now 29 and a business partner of the Falwells, so I don’t think we should call him “pool boy” any longer.

I think he’s earned the right to be called “pool guy.”


PREDATE: Here is the original Reuters article that broke the story. It indicates that the pool guy has naked pictures of Mrs. Jr.

UPDATE: Falwell says he won’t resign.

UPDATE #2: Jerry Falwell, Jr. confirmed Tuesday that he has resigned as president of Liberty University