Vindication of Scoop’s law: any story is interesting if it includes the words “pool boy”

When you get right down to it, any story is improved by a pool boy. Even Road House, the single greatest achievement of mankind, could be better if Ben Gazzara had a pool boy (as he probably did in The Big Lebowski). Consider Love’s Labors Lost, Dante’s Purgatorio, the book of Leviticus or Finnegans Wake. Great works all, but not exactly page-turners for today’s students. Why? No pool boy. You could probably even get through Moby Dick if Ahab had a pool boy waiting for him on shore.

In fact, I considered at one time amending the law to read that no story can be worth reading UNLESS it includes a pool boy.

But I canceled that amendment when I realized a story could be equally interesting with a cabana boy.

Anyway, following Scoop’s law, I was filled with hope when I read this story:

Jerry Falwell Jr. Resigns from Liberty University Amid Pool Boy Sex Allegations

I was kinda disappointed. Oh, sure, it’s entertaining that Jr. liked to watch Mrs. Jr. fucking the pool boy, but I was really hoping it was going to be about Jr. himself having a little cuddle with said youth.

By the way, the pool boy is now 29 and a business partner of the Falwells, so I don’t think we should call him “pool boy” any longer.

I think he’s earned the right to be called “pool guy.”

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PREDATE: Here is the original Reuters article that broke the story. It indicates that the pool guy has naked pictures of Mrs. Jr.

UPDATE: Falwell says he won’t resign.

UPDATE #2: Jerry Falwell, Jr. confirmed Tuesday that he has resigned as president of Liberty University

8 thoughts on “Vindication of Scoop’s law: any story is interesting if it includes the words “pool boy”

  1. What’s every one is skipping over here is Attorney Michael Cohen’s involvement. You see a little over 3 years ago there were some photos of Mrs. Falwell Jr. showing her in a less than clothed situation being shopped about. Apparently Mr. Cohen was representing the Reverend and managed to make them go away. Days later Falwell came out in support of Trump’s candidacy all but delivering him the evangelical vote.

  2. Update: Jerry Falwell Jr. resigned as president of Liberty University late Monday night, following a tumultuous day during which he tussled with the university’s board of trustees over his future at the school.

    In a phone call to The Wall Street Journal, Mr. Falwell said he had just sent his resignation letter to the board of the Christian school in Virginia.

  3. “The material Granda showed Reuters includes screenshots from what Granda said was a FaceTime conversation he had with the Falwells in 2019. During that call, Granda said, Becki was naked as the two discussed their relationship while Jerry peeked from behind a door. Reuters was able to verify Granda’s description of the screenshots. “

    The hypocrisy never stops in the US.

    1. If he doesn’t quit, they’re going to fire him, so it’s likely a grasping-at-straws attempt to save face, as well as generate faux outrage for his inevitable Fox show.

      I’d bet one steak dinner that he was diddling the pool boy along with his wife. Repressed Republicans definitely have a pattern.

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