Ania Sowinski in The Devil’s Violinist
For the life of me, I can’t figure out why the Prince of Darkness would need a violinist. Especially if it is “THE” violinist, sort of implying that he employs exactly one violinist. I guess it cuts down on the overhead if he only uses one and pipes the music in throughout all of hell. I wonder if his sound system extends to other places filled with sinners, like purgatory
Or Nevada.
But why use a violin? If he wants spooky, hellish background music, he’d be better off with a theremin.
And if he wants music that will subject sinners to the unending tortures of eternal damnation, I have one word: bagpipes.
I’m guessing that the Evil One will not even accept people who play the steel drums or the banjo. Too fucking cheerful. People in hell are supposed to suffer, but nobody ever feels bad while listening to the banjo.
Oh, wait, I just realized … he will accept banjo-playing sinners, but they have to spend all eternity playing the fuckin’ bagpipes.
“Welcome to heaven, here’s your harp.”
“Welcome to hell, here’s your accordion.”
Didn’t PDQ Bach write a concerto for bagpipes and accordion?
God I hope so. A little looking turned up “Pervertimento for Bagpipes, Bicycle and Balloons”. I just remember in Abduction of Figaro – the bad guy holds a gun on the bedridden Figaro and tells everyone “Now no funny business or your dying friend will die.”
Exactly, the devil needs a violinist because he lost the fiddle contest. Poor devil 🙁
No “Devil Went Down to Georgia” comment?
Too easy?