Wet is the new dry

The combined effects of rising sea levels and nodal cycle modulations of tidal amplitude lead to acute inflections in projections of future high tide flooding”

In human language, that means the moon is heading into a recurring cycle that makes high tides higher and low tides lower, while rising sea levels make those high tides very, very high.

In actionable terms, this is a good time to unload your oceanfront property, and move away from low-lying coastal areas. It may be cold in Minnesota, but you shouldn’t plan a retirement move to the Outer Banks, Charleston, Savannah or Miami.

NASA explains: “The higher seas, amplified by the lunar cycle, will cause a leap in flood numbers on almost all U.S. mainland coastlines, Hawaii, and Guam.”

13 thoughts on “Wet is the new dry

  1. So will the Greens demand we gain weight, or go on diets in order to correct the tides? Will we be moving people back and forth around the globe on a diurnal cycle?

    1. I don’t think there is a cure for this. There is only preparation.

      This is only ten years in the future, so it’s probably too late to affect the sea levels, and there’s nothing that can be done about the moon cycles.

      The Greens will have to do what the rest of us must do – stay away from oceanfront real estate.

      The government, on the other hand, may have to study The Netherlands for methods to avoid ongoing flooding.

    2. Gohmert will have the Army out there charging the highest tides with fixed bayonets.

    3. Don’t the Blues want to do anything about this, EdBeauregard? What are their proposals to deal with this problems? Big tax cuts for the rich and privatizing Social Security?

        1. And then there’s those Red Sox & Blue Sox. I mean, who’s from where? Talk about making no sense.

          1. The Glass Sox were a very short-lived team in the American Association (1953-1955). That was a completely separate franchise (a Braves farm team) from the various incarnations of the Mud Hens.

            The Braves moved from Boston to Milwaukee in 1953, which left them with a problem, since their AAA team, then called the Brewers, was already in Milwaukee. They obviously needed a new home for their top farm team, and the Mud Hens had recently abandoned Toledo, so the Braves sent the Brewers to Toledo and renamed them after “Glass City.” They were playing in a decrepit old park and weren’t happy with the city, so after three years they moved the team to Wichita and renamed them the Wichita Braves.

          2. Didn’t know that. But I’ve actually been to Toledo multiple times. As in, that’s where I was going, on purpose. Square dancing.

          3. I’ve often wondered why there is an expression “Holy Toledo!” Some people think this refers to Toledo, Spain, but there are many different theories about just what is so fuckin’ holy about Toledo.


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          4. That team is still there, but now it is the Mud Hens. It may have called that been before the “Glass Sox” name came and went.

          5. I did not know the story behind the Glass Sox, UncleScoopy. What is funny is that I lived in Toledo as a child, and now live in Milwaukee.

            What is also funny is that I have never cared about professional sports, but now I get to help pay for the major league Brewers stadium! Yay, I guess.

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