Day: September 18, 2021

Arli$$

… continuing, with season three

(Find seasons 1 and 2 here)

Season 3, Episode 1

Arliss has a client who has the talent to play in the NFL, but is being blackballed because he is rumored to be gay. That’s an easy fix: trick him into taking a hot tub with two very young girls, bribe a cop to bust him, and keep the National Enquirer informed. Voila! Suddenly the client is known as a legendary stud and every club wants him.

Danielle Ciardi and Kelly Michael played the hot tub girls. Danielle was a regular fixture in R-rated entertainment in that era. Kelly Michael has no other IMDb credits (at least not under that name).

Ciardi

Michael

Season 3, Episode 7

In a minor and not very noteworthy sub-plot, Jean Carol plays an “older woman” with an insatiable sexual appetite.

Season 3, Episode 13

There are two strippers at a bachelor party for Kirby, the friend-turned-colleague that Arliss uses as his factotum and troubleshooter. The actresses are Maria Ford and Keri Crawford. If you are up to speed on R-rated movies and videos, you are well acquainted with Maria Ford, who had a long career in softcore, both before and after implants (in this case, after). Keri Crawford has no other credits under that moniker, which is her real birth name, but she has more than a hundred credits under her nom de porn, Keri Windsor.

Maria Ford

Keri Crawford, aka Keri Windsor

A mediocre movie in general, but the dialogue is hilarious in the sex scenes between Plaza and De Niro. Some examples (re-ordered and condensed for continuity):

Lenore: I like your pull-out couch.

Dick Kelly: Yeah? Well, I got news for ya. That’s the only thing that’s gonna be pulling out tonight. We’re gonna thunderfuck.

Lenore: You’re gonna tsunami on my face.

Dick Kelly: You’re gonna flood like the Nile.

Lenore: Yeah, I guess the drought in my pussy is finally over.

Dick Kelly: The villagers will finally eat.

Lenore: If you’re gonna die while you’re eating me out, I want your last breath to be in my pussy. I want you to tear open my bra like it’s a social security check. Tell me you’ve fallen and you can’t get up.

Dick Kelly: I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.

Lenore: Tell me how things were better under Eisenhower.

Dick Kelly: Things were better under Eisenhower.

Lenore: We like Ike!

Dick Kelly: [yells] We like Ike! We like Ike! We like Ike! We like Ike!

Lenore: Are you cumming or dying?

Dick Kelly: I’m not sure, maybe both!