P.J. has written many wise and wonderful things over the years, I suppose. I don’t really know because I have not read most of them. My ignorance of his past 45 years notwithstanding, I would gladly present his case for a spot in heaven. I wouldn’t even need to say a word. I’d just hand ol’ St. Pete a copy of this.

At least a dozen states have passed measures this year restricting how schools teach about racism, sexism and other topics.”

My recommendation: never discuss a race except the seventh at Santa Anita, in which case lay down a g-note on Make Hay at 7-1.

“The law sets a very high standard for actual malice, and in this case, the notorious anti-Semite and serial killer was unable to provide sufficient evidence. I am immediately dismissing the ISIS fighter’s lawsuit.” The judge added that Palin was free to appeal, given she wasn’t too drunk to file the paperwork.

(The Onion)

as the producers strive to push those ratings even lower. Next year’s show will be on cable access, and I don’t mean to jinx the negotiations, but I can now reveal that they have asked me to host if I agree to do a sex change.

I should ask them to validate my parking, right?

Until he died I had never given much thought to how much pleasure this man brought to my life. If I can think of a comedy I loved, he probably hand a hand in it somewhere, as producer or director or both. He wasn’t as good at picking winners among serious movies, but he made up for that by filling them with some of the greatest nudity in history: e.g. Amanda Seyfried in Chloe and Heather Graham in Killing Me Softly.

Trivia: he was born in Czechoslovakia and his mother was a holocaust survivor.