March Madness – Thursday

Obviously, the big upset of the day was #2 Kentucky’s loss to St. Peter’s of Jersey City in OT. As inevitably happens in this tournament, I had no idea what to call the team from St. Peter’s. I don’t think I knew that there was such a team. For the record, they are the SAINT PETER’S PEACOCKS. I did not make that up. They really named a team the “cocks” when they already had “peters” in the school name. It’s the ol’ double-dick! Have we learned nothing from Seinfeld? You never double dick.

(Related: I play pickleball with a guy named Dick Johnson who is nicknamed, predictably, “Double Dick.”)

Anyway, setting my usual bullshit aside for a moment, you may wonder how the Penis Pair even got into the NCAA tournament in the first place. Total fluke. Here’s the deal on their conference championship: Favored Iona, which had defeated St. Peter’s twice during the regular season, was upset in an early round by lowly Rider University (14-19, rated 238th in the nation). Unsurprisingly, Rider itself was soon eliminated, which eventually left St. Peter’s with a cakewalk in the finals against Monmouth (158th in the country). None of that matters now. The only key point is that St. Peter’s beat Kentucky fair and square. Hey, what can ya say about those Peacocks? This dog had its day.

Now I want them to go all the way. Go Double Dicks!

In other bracket-busters, a couple of #5 seeds were sent packing: Iowa lost to Richmond, and UConn lost to New Mexico State.

• Iowa lost by going a feeble 6-for-29 from three-point range.
• UConn got outplayed. They were down by ten at halftime and never recovered. New Mexico State’s star, Teddy Allen, is an Iverson clone. He is to shots as Will Rogers was to men. He never met one he didn’t like. But some days they fall. This was one of those days, as he scored 37.