And not a moment too soon! I hope the inventor has space on his mantel to display that Nobel Prize.

The award for the best bullshit of the day (so far) goes to the Velveeta brand manager:

VELVEETA is known for its rich, creamy texture and cheesy, melty goodness, so what better way to bring this to life for our fans than with something equally as rich and creamy — nail polish.

Well then, maybe we need to start some new traditions. We need not be bound by the past. Who is thinking about the future?

Specifying the donut shop makes it a very narrow ruling. What about the right to walk to a convenience store with genitals out? Surely that must be one of the great traditions of liberty.

What can you say? Scottsdale is a tough town. Or as Latka used to say, America is a tough town.