“In other financial news, more and more people are buying cryptocurrencies, which appeal to investors because the cryptocurrency market is not controlled by the government. Instead it is controlled by 13-year-old Justin Weeblemonger of Teaneck, N.J., who runs the whole shebang out of his PlayStation 5. (Justin also controls airline fares.)”
The Washington Post has both parts, if you can get past their pay wall.