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They’ve had just about enough of your smart remarks, young man.

They can’t decide whether to go with Kum Shot, Kum Again or Kum to Hand.

Nah, just fuckin’ witcha, in homage to Evil Roy Slade’s decision to start his new law-abiding life by changing his name to Evil John Ferguson.

They’ve decided on Maverik. What a bore.

A new original series from Hulu.

“Detective Rufus Cotesworth and his protégé, Imogene, dig for the truth on a Mediterranean ocean liner where everyone is hiding something.”

From what I’ve seen so far, it could be called the Love Boat for Lesbians.

And that’s a good thing.


Lauren Patten in episode 1

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Lauren Patten in episode 2

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Although this translates to The Last Spring in English, the official title for English-language distribution is Sister, What Grows Where Land Is Sick?

I have not watched the film, nor will I ever. There are certain phrases that tell me that I will not enjoy a movie, no matter how much the critics adore it. One of those is “in remote rural Ireland in the 19th century.” Another is “in a small town in northern Norway.” There is also “yet her diary reveals a darkness.” The latter two apply here. Since a film with dark secrets in a diary is unlikely to take place in both small-town nothern Norway and rural Ireland, I’d have to give this film a 99 in the SAM (Scoop Avoidance Meter), making it the GOAT. It is likely to remain in that position unless one of two things happen:

EITHER:

1) There actually is a film that involves migration from rural Ireland to escape the 19th century potato famine, and an emigrating family ends up in a small town in northern Norway with a deeply depressed daughter.

OR:

2) They make Chariots of Fire II.

Cracked, as usual, had an oddly skewed perspective in their review of the story about some missing scientists in an isolated Arctic outpost.

Here is their take on Kangaroo Jack.

“Yeah, these poor souls are totally isolated, cut off from their friends and family, and one of their few lifelines to the outside world is a Jerry O’Connell movie about a kangaroo with a pouch full of mob money? The one that deceived America with a trailer that implied that said kangaroo would be a sassy rapper, and not merely a tortured marsupial?”

Hey, c’mom, I’ll accept a diss of Kangaroo Jack, but not Death to Smoochy. That is sacred! They obviously don’t agree.

I haven’t watched the True Detective episode yet. Looking forward to the new season.

One thing you can say about Whitney: she is not self-conscious. She will post anything to social media, even if it’s not flattering.

Especially if it’s not flattering.

I guess that’s part of her comedy. I don’t remember exactly how she first became famous, but Anthony Jeselnick once famously joked that “Whitney got more undeserved opportunities than a Native American applying for college.”

(It’s just a roast joke. They are actually friends.)

“Dove Cameron (not her real name) posted a series of topless pics on instagram because apparently it’s her birthday. The topless pics aren’t the kind you’d want, you know with nipples, but they do show off her cheesy tattoos”

I’m shocked. No, not by the pics or the ink, but by the fact that Dove Cameron was born. I just assumed she was manufactured.

Sure, I was just kidding, but in a very real sense, Dove Cameron was manufactured. Chloe Celeste Hosterman was the prototype version, the one with a birthdate. It’s interesting that Dove strayed so far from her real name to create her nom de theatre. She retained no part of it, ala Archibald Leach / Cary Grant. You can see why somebody would discard Archibald Leach, but using Chloe as a first name and Celeste as a last would have made an excellent celebrity name. It’s sexy, feminine and even alliterative.

(Her late, beloved father called her Dove. Not sure where the Cameron came from.)

It is possible to argue that Chloe Celeste is not an alliteration. There is a very boring digression that follows, about how your high school English teacher lied to you about alliteration. You would be better off skipping it, because life is short and you can never get that time back.

Continue reading “Dove Cameron topless for her birthday (from behind)”

A commenter noted that this .gif is from the Anyone But You trailer, although this excellent version isn’t in the theatrical cut.

The same scene looked like this in the version we saw:


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OK, we got ripped off, and that makes me mean mad, Muley, but this now seems like good news to me. Perhaps all the advance info we had was correct, after all. The existence of the trailer version gives us some hope that there really may be more alternate footage out there, with much more flesh, as we were originally promised.

———-

Here is a weird deal:

The trailer has the bethonged Sweeney ass, while the theatrical release has La Cid’s ass covered. In complete contrast, the trailer shows Charlee Fraser wearing a bikini top when she greets Glen Powell, while the theatrical release shows her topless in the same scene! In other word, the director decided to add Fraser nudity and remove Sweeney nudity when he made his final cut, which doesn’t seem to make sense.

At least the Fraser nudity wasn’t Brendan Fraser.

By the way, I just watched Killers of the Flower Moon, and Brendan Fraser is almost as fat without the fat suit.