The Cracked headline is right. I usually feel confident that I know the difference between reality and urban myth, but I actually did think that Mama Cass choked on some food.

As it turns out, “Elliot’s sandwich was sitting on the table next to her, untouched, according to the police investigation.”

“In reality, the coroner’s report showed that she died of a heart attack due to a ‘fatty myocardial degeneration due to obesity.’ So her death ultimately was due to her weight, but somehow the world’s comedians decided there wasn’t quite enough of a fat joke in that.”

“Let me finish. Let me finish. Answer me: Did you or did you not try to put a new spin on the classic Christmas tale? The nation needs answers.”

“At press time, Universal Pictures had banned Acosta from doing any press interviews for their film.”

“Republican Denver Riggleman — a man who once wrote a book titled Mating Habits of Bigfoot and Why Women Want Him — just beat out Democratic challenger Leslie Cockburn (Olivia Wilde’s mom) for the U.S. House of Representatives in Virginia’s Fifth Congressional District seat.”

I haven’t read Mr. Riggleman’s book and, Lord willing, I never will, but my impression is that there’s no erotica involved. He has written about the psychology of Bigfoot believers, and the title is meant to put a light-hearted spin on it.