Category: Nonsense
The original Fantastic Four is hilariously awful, and is now on YouTube in its entirety
Yes, he did. And it became quite the internet meme.
“Republican Denver Riggleman — a man who once wrote a book titled Mating Habits of Bigfoot and Why Women Want Him — just beat out Democratic challenger Leslie Cockburn (Olivia Wilde’s mom) for the U.S. House of Representatives in Virginia’s Fifth Congressional District seat.”
I haven’t read Mr. Riggleman’s book and, Lord willing, I never will, but my impression is that there’s no erotica involved. He has written about the psychology of Bigfoot believers, and the title is meant to put a light-hearted spin on it.
WINNER CROWNED, FIGHT BREAKS OUT!!! Fake Ass Claims Hurled
“Aline Uva, straight outta south Brazil, charged at Ellen, ripped off her sash and put it on herself … all while accusing Ellen of having a surgically enhanced ass. Aline claims she has the ONLY natty cheeks in the whole contest.”
“Honestly, it’s not for everyone.”
This is probably the best state slogan since Arkansas had “Home of the firm, calloused handshake.”
Although I like Oklahoma’s “Don’t ask. We don’t know what a sooner is either.”
Or Wyoming’s “Plenty of free parking.”
Or maybe New Jersey’s “No slogan. You gotta problem wit dat?”
“Prescriptions – Guns – Ammo”
Providing the tri-state area with quality pharmacy services and firepower!
This place is almost heaven. If they also operated a brothel, they would meet all of life’s needs.
Homer Simpson once claimed that beer was the solution to all of life’s problems, as well as the cause, but I’m thinking McCaysville Drug & Gun may have an even stronger claim to both parts of that equation. You can get wasted, then get a gun to commit a violent crime. And when you return, you can take advantage of old man McCay’s friendly refund policy, and turn the murder weapon back in for full store credit! That means you can get bandages and pain-killers to treat the wounds you suffered in the police shoot-out.
And best of all, most insurance plans are accepted, so you can start getting those drugs for free, or close to it, as soon as you meet your deductible!
Screw all those pictures of sexy women and beautiful landscapes. Here is the right way to usher in 2019.
The publisher claims, “BrownTrout’s keen eye for contemporary design and trends makes us the preferred supplier in this product category.” I’m guessing they are not only the preferred supplier, but probably the only supplier, of Goats-in-Trees calendars.
He’s in it, and yet he isn’t. It’s another early Festivus miracle!
“Despite Video Evidence, New Hampshire State Rep Frank Sapareto Denies Starring Role In Porn Project”
It’s not just the video evidence. There is also a string of e-mails from and to Sapareto discussing the project.
His rebuttal? He’s been kavanaughed! “You saw what happened to Kavanaugh? Now it’s happening to me!”
“After years of wondering about how dry cleaning works, Seinfeld recently ventured into a library and searched through dark and mildewing shelves of the reference section until he found an accursed book about industrial garment care. As he read the ancient tome, the hapless stand-up’s eyes widened in shock and tears streamed down his face while his mouth formed into a rictus grin of horrified delight. Hours later he put down the book and maniacally cackled, “I understand the deal now. I understand the deal with dry cleaning!”
I think we can all be thankful that he never learned what the deal was with airline peanuts.
When I was in college in NYC, the candy machines in the subway stations were always empty – except for Powerhouse Bars. If you got desperate enough to buy one because it was 3 A.M. or something, you most likely got one with a faded wrapper. Only the Lord himself knows how long they had been in there. That was in the 60s, but the wrappers probably had pictures of people rolling up their sleeves to defeat Hitler.
All kidding aside, some older bars included a rhyming slogan on the wrapper: “Generous. Nutritious. Truly Delicious.” The wrappers on the oldest ones just said “good eating.” Their corporate mascot was named Roger Wilco, and their oldest ads looked like the color comic strips from the Sunday paper.
UPDATE: Google was right! It was the Price and Pearce show.
Yesterday I said that game four was Steve Pearce’s lifetime moment when the journeyman utility player first tied and then won the game with his bat. The sonofagun hit two more homers in game five to become the World Series MVP! Meanwhile, David Price won his second game of the series by allowing only three hits in seven innings.
I’m not really a Red Sox fan, but I always feel that things are right when the team which is obviously the best in baseball wins the World Series. It indicates that there is sometimes order and justice in the universe.
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Original post:
Google has developed many incredible applications, but Google Time-Travel must be the best