Devin Nunes calls the closure of schools in California “way overkill” shortly before he argues we need to send people back to work within 1-2 weeks while citing optimism over Hydroxychloroquine pic.twitter.com/3pBHWdwlK0
— Acyn Torabi (@Acyn) April 1, 2020
“If you happen to utter the word “coronavirus” while waiting, say, for the bus in the white-marbled capital Ashgabat, there’s a good chance you’ll be arrested. Plainclothes police officers are also arresting people who wear face masks.”
The Turkmen government has been run since 2006 by “the flamboyant dentist-rapper strongman Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov.”
Heckuva job, Gurby!
SIDEBAR: I’m pretty sure than I’ve never typed “dentist-rapper-strongman” before. That’s almost as rare as my position as “philosopher prince / masked luchador” (emeritus).
I fully support his efforts in that regard.
Brit Hume: It’s ‘Entirely Reasonable’ the Elderly Would Want to Die to Save Economy
“God is spreading it in your synagogues! You are under judgment because you oppose his son, Jesus Christ. That is why you have a plague in your synagogues. Repent and believe on the name of Jesus Christ, and the plague will stop.”
I’m so confused. The official Christian nutbag line last week was that the Jews created the virus in their secret Chinese labs. Now it turns out that God runs those secret Chinese labs.
So. Let me see if I understand this.
He’s the world’s richest man.
The business that made him so rich paid no income taxes in 2018.
Because stores are closed, that business is busier than ever.
And he would like ME to donate to his workers.
I’m persuaded. Let me get my checkbook out. I have almost twelve dollars in my account.
CNN asks actor Sean Penn for military solutions to stop coronavirus
“So what Jefferson was saying was ‘Hey! You know, we left this England place because it was bogus. So if we don’t get some cool rules ourselves, pronto, we’ll just be bogus too.’ Also, there is no greater humanitarian force on the planet than the United States military.”
I know Trump always overpromises, so I was expecting to be underwhelmed, but not THIS underwhelmed. I think I could have created approximately the same thing overnight, using info that was already available across the web. With just me and one whiz-kid youngster to modernize my code, I could have saved Google the cost of the other 1698 employees.
Here is the equally unimpressive site created by Google’s sister company, Verily, for screening in two California counties.
In addition to those two sites, there is another which is kinda-sorta related to Trump’s claim. Jared Kushner’s brother, Joshua, is co-founder of the health insurance start-up Oscar, which recently released an online tool to locate COVID-19 testing centers in some areas. At least in the past, Jared Kushner has had a financial interest in Oscar.
Tucker Carlson calls for Senator Burr to resign and await prosecution for insider trading if he cannot provide a reasonable explanation for his actions. He goes on to say it appears that Senator Burr betrayed his country in a time of crisis pic.twitter.com/q7yJa5wjuA
— Acyn Torabi (@Acyn) March 20, 2020
According to other news sources, Tucker was also instrumental in getting the administration to start taking COVID-19 seriously. I am having a hard time dealing with this harsh new reality.
From the “Where there’s smoke” department: In 2012, the US senate voted 96-3 to ban insider trading by lawmakers using non-public information. Burr was one of the three who voted against it! (It passed the House 417-2.) Of the three senators who voted against the bill, Burr is the only one still in office. One of the Representatives who voted “NAY” is still in office, but will not seek re-election in 2020.
I’m starting to think this Burr fellow may not be on the up-and-up.
I brought this up from another thread:
“GOP Senator Upbeat! Coronavirus May Kill ‘No More Than 3.4 Percent of Our Population’”
Such a compassionate man.
Well, that’s a relief. It will only kill about twice as many people (11 million) as the Holocaust (6 million)! No big deal.
(The 1918 flu pandemic killed approximately as many Americans as the Civil War.)
So this is incorrect. If Trump hypothetically managed to delay the election past January 20, the result would not be President Pelosi. It would be President Patrick Leahy.
Allow me to explain why. /1 https://t.co/8OxwOy1Ejq
— Ian Millhiser (@imillhiser) March 18, 2020
Here’s his hypothesis:
Without an election, Trump and Pence’s terms would expire, as would every member of the House of Representatives. That means the president pro tempore of the Senate would become president. Because of the non-election, 35 members of the Senate would also be gone because of their expired terms. Of the 65 remaining members, there would be 36 Democrats and 29 Republicans, making octogenarian and die-hard Batman fan Patrick Leahy the president pro tempore (as he has been in the past), and therefore the new President of the United States.
(The Senate does not have to choose the longest-serving member of the majority party. That is just a custom.)
The wit and wisdom of Devin Nunes – head for a restaurant or bar!
“If you’re healthy, you and your family, it’s a great time to go out and go to a local restaurant, likely you can get in easy. Let’s not hurt the working people in this country…go to your local pub” pic.twitter.com/jXdhOfwe9R
— Acyn Torabi (@Acyn) March 15, 2020
The director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, Anthony Fauci, said in several television interviews on Sunday that he was concerned about how many people were still frequenting bars and clubs. Fauci told CNN that he would like to “see a dramatic diminution of the personal interaction we see in restaurants and bars. Whatever it takes to do that, that is what I would like to see.”
but this seems idiotic to me.
This is crazy but then again FBI and FOIA is a disastrous combo
FBI will no longer accept FOIA requests electronically because of #coronavirus. Instead, the bureau wants requesters to leave their homes and mail the request in. pic.twitter.com/SFA6C1xdPP
— Jason Leopold (@JasonLeopold) March 18, 2020
So, don’t use the internet. Instead handle a piece of paper and an envelope and a stamp, maybe licking things as needed, and send all that to us. Don’t forget to leave your home to get that mailed!
Asked what it was like to take the test, Trump says, "Not, not uh – something I want to do everyday…you know, it's a little bit of a — it's a little bit of — good doctors in the White House, but it's a test. It's a test. It's a medical test. Nothing pleasant about it."
— Daniel Dale (@ddale8) March 16, 2020
Not ONE media outlet has asked about George Soros’s involvement in this FLU panic. He is SOMEWHERE involved in this.
— David A. Clarke, Jr. (@SheriffClarke) March 15, 2020
I dunno. Before I start determining the exact cause of COVID-19, I’m waiting for Mel Gibson to weigh in.
Poe’s Law is invoked once again. I thought I was being sarcastic with I wrote this, but irony is now impossible because we have gone through the looking class.
Let’s face it, Sheriff Clarke writes the best parody site on the internet – and he’s not trying to. Here’s more wisdom from the lawman:
GO INTO THE STREETS FOLKS. Visit bars, restaurants, shopping malls, CHURCHES and demand that your schools re-open. NOW!
If government doesn’t stop this foolishness…STAY IN THE STREETS.
END GOVERNEMNT CONTROL OVER OUR LIVES. IF NOT NOW, WHEN?
THIS IS AN EXPLOITATION OF A CRISIS.— David A. Clarke, Jr. (@SheriffClarke) March 15, 2020
These guys lie when there’s no need to, and they can’t even make up believable lies.
Everything Trump said is on tape. Trump said, “These prohibitions will not only apply to the tremendous amount of trade and cargo but various other things as we get approval.” As he said that, stock futures were plummeting.
This was not a matter of people misinterpreting what he said. What he said was completely clear and people interpreted the meaning of his words correctly. The problem was that the cargo ban was never an accurate statement of his plan. There was no such plan, so the administration had to issue an immediate correction.
So what happened? What he said was not what was in his prepared speech. Trump is not a proficient reader. He simply fucked up and read the speech wrong. According to the Wall Street Journal, the draft of the speech said, the prohibitions “will not apply” to trade and cargo, rather than they “will not only apply.”
The crazy thing about this is that it’s a “who cares?” issue. Mnuchin could simply have told the truth and all would be soon forgotten. Because of the tweeted correction, we all knew that Trump must have misread the speech, so I would not be typing now if Mnuchin had told the truth, because it would not be news. Everyone makes mistakes. On the other hand, Mnuchin’s lie just causes us to focus on Trump’s mistake.
Furthermore, I think all of these guys need to re-read the story about the boy who cried “wolf.” If they just keep lying about everything, we’re not going to believe them when they decide to accurately convey something important.
So … I was at WalMart an hour ago and …
They were out of all frozen food from all freezers, except for a few frozen pizzas.
They were out of canned soup.
They were out of eggs.
They were out of all paper products. No toilet paper, no paper towels, no Kleenex. They keep all of that stuff on a very tall double-depth shelf with no backing, so you can access it from either side. That entire display aisle – ten feet high and more than 30 feet long with multiple double-depth shelves – was empty. A wag had hung a sign on the shelving: Добро пожаловать в Советский Союз (Welcome to the Soviet Union)
I have to admit that I never imagined typing those words together, but that really happened.
As the site mentions, this has to be one of those signs of the end times.
(I have to admit she actually did a decent job at delivering the beat, given the handicap of being an unhip middle-aged white woman.)
Roger Stone: Unhinged (coming to a theater near you – holy shit)
— Publius (@ThePubliusUSA) March 1, 2020
