Jimmy Trump – the long con plays out

UncleScoopy

For quite some time there has been a Twitter account called “Rogue White House Senior Adviser,” claiming to be an insider with direct access to the president, accumulating a quarter of a million followers. In the past week the author had been teasing that he would be revealing his true identity on Independence Day.

He finally claimed to be Jimmy Trump, aka James Maxwell Trump, secret love child of The Donald and Ghislaine Maxwell.

It was bullshit, of course. He posted a false birth certificate

… and his original picture was actually Kieran Culkin.

What will be the new name of the Washington football team?

UncleScoopy

One of the choices is “Warriors,” which would allow the team to retain its offensive iconography and 90% of the racism.

Talk about tone deaf.

This reminds me of one of my fav movies, Evil Roy Slade. When a psychologist was trying to persuade Evil Roy to begin a new non-outlaw life with a new name, Evil Roy said something like, “A new name … I like that. Evil John Ferguson? Evil Fred Noland? Evil Lee Rich?”

Dan Snyder: “A new name? I like that. The Potomac Redskins? The DC Redskins? The District Redskins? The Capital Redskins?”

Y’know, Dan, a lot of black people live in DC. The National N…..s might be right for you!

I think the best way to handle this would be turn turn the racism backward and create an offensive white stereotype. Luckily, the “Brockmire” show has already done all the work:

That episode of Brockmire was filmed about a year ago, but life now mirrors it as the Cleveland Indians consider a name change.

All kidding aside, I’m not convinced that Snyder will really give in, but you can actually bet on what the new team name might be. “Presidents” is the current favorite. As a commenter noted, “People have been advocating for ‘Redtails’ after the airplanes the Tuskegee Airman flew. They’ve mocked up artwork and everything.”

Here are some possibilities from the fierce animal kingdom:

  • The Potomac Piranhas
  • The Washington Wolverines
  • The Capital Cheetahs

Oh, let’s not leave that kidding aside. How about some silly suggestions:

  • The Capital Won (should be easy to get a sponsor)
  • The Federal Express (ditto)
  • The Capital Ideas
  • The Washington Carvers
  • The DC Comics
  • The Deep State Eleven

From the comment section:

The Capital Punishment. They can have a mascot race in the sixth inning with different instruments of death… “And the guillotine wins by a head!”