I’m not going to go into them, because they will be done to death this week as she promotes her book.

I just want to make a note on a picture accompanying a Cassidy story.

One site says: “Congressman Jim Jordan is 6’3″. This makes him one of the taller members of Congress.” Yeah … maybe not.

Here is Jordan next to Cassidy Hutchinson (5’7″, so probably 5’10” in heels), Kevin McCarthy (5’10”) and Mark Meadows (6’0″).

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There are some perspective issues in that photo, but it’s clear that Jordan is much smaller than Meadows.

Matt Gaetz is reliably measured at 6’2″ according to his arrest record, but if Jim Jordan is 6’3″, then I’m guessing that Gates may actually be seven feet tall (see below). I guess that could be. He does have the forehead of Fred Gwynne as Herman Munster, who was about seven feel tall in those built-up shoes.

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Jordan’s real height? Well, he wrestled at 134 in college, so I’d say 5’7″ or 5’8″ is a decent guess.

Hey, man, I’m afraid of flying. I just can’t get on the plane without my therapy llama. One exception. My shrink says that, in a pinch, I could use an alpaca.

Kidding almost aside, I just know I’m going to end up in a middle seat between a fat guy and his therapy llama.

Oh, sorry. Political incorrectness alert. Not a fat guy, or a lard-ass, but a Crisco-American.

Visitors to the Royal Academy of Arts will be confronted with two nude models – with the expectation they will squeeze between them to see an exhibition dedicated to the career of performance artist Marina Abramovic.

Given that one of them is a guy, I’m willing to bet that Albert will skip this exhibit.

Frankly, I guess I can take a pass myself on Marina’s career tribute.

He will now be able to devote his remaining life to the things that are really important to him, like Satan worship.

Joking aside, there’s no denying his influence. Say what you want, but the man re-made journalism and made a fortune in the process. The only debate involves whether that was a good thing.

Lesson be here, y’ scurvy dogs

The Bible, translated into pirate talk

Robert Newton not only brought Long John Silver (and what we conceive to be pirate-speak) to life, but he even died playing Long John Silver. Now that is commitment to a role.

That isn’t literally true, but it’s close to the truth. Some four or five years after Treasure Island left the theaters, he filmed 26 episodes of a TV series called The Adventures of Long John Silver. If you are curious, many if not all of the episodes are on YouTube in their entirety, and they were filmed in color, even though few people owned color TVs at the time. If Wikipedia has the dates right, Newton was alive when the series first aired in the USA from September of 1955 through early 1956, but had passed away before the series made it to the UK the following year.

“Rep. Lauren Boebert is an American politician who is currently caught up in a scandal in which she was kicked out of a movie theatre for vaping, and also because her date was grabbing her boobs during the movie.”

She was attending the Beetlejuice stage show (not a movie, as quoted above), which is recommended for audiences aged 10 and older. To further amuse the kids in the crowd, as mentioned in some accounts of the incident, Boebert also opted to pat her date down, probably to make sure he wasn’t carrying any abortion pills in his pants. Either that or he had Burger King take-out in his lap, because it took her two hands to handle a whopper.

Two commenters noted:

  • At least it’s good to know she can reach across the aisle.
  • She was just singing along and tallying his banana.

The Denver Post said that, according to the theater staff, she was also taking flash photographs. The woman behind her said that Boebert took long videos of the performance. When the theater videos showed her using her camera, Boebert eventually admitted it, but claimed to be unaware that photography was forbidden.

Right, because they never mention that before a show.

As she was being booted from the theater and tossed into the street like a drunk getting kicked out of an old-time Western saloon, Boebert pulled out the ol’ “Do you know who I am?” trick, adding “I am on the board. I will be contacting the mayor.”

Here is the theater manager reacting in fear to that threat:

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Ooooo – pretty scary, eh, kids?

The CCTV footage shows a blurred-out gesture that Boebert flashed at theater security as she was escorted out. Business Insider, with its typically insightful grasp of the obvious, concluded that the gesture appeared to be a middle finger.

Apparently unaware that Boebert was captured on security video, her spokesperson initially claimed that she was just singing and laughing too loud and just having too good a time. Boebert’s own first reaction, a tweet, followed the same narrative. Boebert also claimed initially that the alleged vaping was an illusion created by the show’s smoke machines. That was a lie. Here is a video in which she is clearly vaping. After the video emerged, exposing her original lie, she doubled down with an even less credible lie: “I genuinely did not recall vaping that evening.”

Forgot? She got into an argument with another patron about her vaping. When the pregnant woman asked Boebert to stop vaping, Boebert told her “no” point-blank. The woman says that Boebert, who had apparently not yet exhausted all of the possibilities for cartoon villainy, then called her a “sad and miserable person.” The article does not mention, but we can assume, that Boebert then tied the woman to a log as it headed into a sawmill.

It would be easy to have that slip your mind, so I’ve concluded that her memory lapse must be totally sincere, just as I believed Hedley Lamarr when he said he forget he was armed.

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To be fair, I guess it’s possible that Boebert forgot the whole incident, depending on what was in that vape pen. Recreational marijuana is legal in Colorado.


Semi-relevant sidebar from The Guardian:

“Her date, 46-year-old Quinn Gallagher, was a Democrat-supporting owner of a bar that hosts LGBTQ+ and drag events in the ski town of Aspen, Colorado. The events included a women’s party for Aspen Gay Ski Week and a Winter Wonderland Burlesque & Drag Show. Boebert has been an outspoken critic of drag shows.”


I’ll bet that liberal dude was just ticking off the GILF box. Yup, that’s right. Boebert became a grandmother at 36!

OK, Ann Coulter is totally right (words I never expected to type), but Boebert is in a special sub-group of totally embarrassing bimbos, those with nice gazongas. That makes her behavior acceptable. As the burning bush explained to Moses after giving him the ten commandments, “For yea and verily I say unto you, and it must be unto you since there is nobody else on this mountain top, that none of these rules apply to chicks with a great rack.”

The bush then continued, “Also, forget thy dress code for hot chicks when they cometh to swanky bullshit events.”

Brilliant, funny headline! (But no actual article. From the Onion.)

Here’s another:

Resilient Aaron Rodgers Vows To Return More Detached From Reality Than Ever

“In a way, maybe this is a blessing in disguise. Although it sucks to be injured and not be out on the field with my teammates, it will give me time to reflect on the batshit things I believe in and maybe even detach from reality altogether.”

“Radical left-wing feminists in Chile with “ponytails inserted in their butts and performing dances” in commemoration of the 50th anniversary of the military coup against Salvador Allende.”

(In an event sometimes called “the other 9/11,” the USA backed the overthrow of Allende, a democratically elected Marxist, by a military coup. The Nixon administration wanted to prevent the spread of Communism during the Cold War.)

I don’t think the ponytails are actually in their butts, so the quote above kind of overhypes the protest. Nonetheless, the impact is approximately as promised – women in thongs or with bare butts, some waving strap-on ponytails. I assume they are anti-coup, but isn’t this counter-productive? After seeing the vid, I want to join the CIA and foment a military coup so more women will do this.

Thanks to laterals, five Cal runners managed to evade 155 Stanford defenders.


Time had expired in the 1982 game, and Stanford’s 144-piece marching band was so certain their boys had already won, that they were already doing their thing near the goal line. Cal’s 5th runner, Kevin Man, had to wend his way through the band to score the winning touchdown. Damndest thing you’ve ever seen!

He was trying to “run to London,” but London was a long-shot, to say the least. There’s no telling where he might actually have drifted to. This is the fourth time he has attempted a voyage in such a contraption. The last time he was trying to go from Florida to New York – but simply washed ashore elsewhere in Florida, about thirty miles south of his launch point.

Of course he’s nuts and the Coast Guard saved his life, but I wonder what legal grounds they had to order him to stop his quixotic madness. He wasn’t just rescued, but was also arrested, although he was 70 miles off the coast when the CG intercepted him. Isn’t that out of their jurisdiction? Reading this made me realize that I don’t understand the first thing about maritime law.

Joker gets hosed by the judges after obviously besting the Hooded Hodad!

Life was simpler then.

Cesar Romero was 59 years old when he did this! Nothing in his career would have led one to believe that he’d be so uninhibited and hilarious as the Joker, although he did clown around a bit in Ocean’s 11 and some TV shows.

Back in the day, he starred as the Cisco Kid in a movie called “The Gay Caballero.” As the meaning of “gay” changed over the years, that title took on a second meaning, which apparently turned out to be appropriate.