Tuesday, October 21, 2014




No, Bram Stoker Did Not Model Dracula On Vlad The Impaler
"So why did Stoker choose that name, 'Dracula'? Well, we can infer that from his own notes. He copied information from a footnote from Wilkinson's book ('An Account of the Principalities of Wallachia and Moldavia') that read in his own notes, 'DRACULA in Wallachian language means DEVIL,' with those capital letters."

"Stoker chose the name, it appears, because of its devilish associations, not because of the history and legends attached to its owner. The truth is, there's no evidence that Bram Stoker was even aware of the name Vlad III — much less that he was called 'Vlad the Impaler.' Vlad the Impaler is the 'real' Dracula in that he is a real historical figure who bore the name Dracula. Beyond that, little else connects him with the fictional count."




“Oh, hi Mark!” 'The Room' mockumentary is about 'greatest bad movie ever made'




Bridge Cancelled By FX After Two Seasons
I watched season two of the USA/Mexican version, God knows why, probably because I have been watching the excellent Swedish/Danish and British/French Versions (Bron/Broen and The Tunnel, respectively), but I felt it was almost a complete waste of my time. I usually like Demian Bichir, but he did so much mumbling in this series that he made Michael Parks seem like an elocution teacher. And he managed to mumble in two different languages! They at least managed to subtitle his Spanish, so I actually understood that better than his English, which was basically just garbled whispering. Even fuckin' Popeye would have told him to stop muttering.

The authors had a solid premise and a good plot in season one, which had closely followed the two acclaimed European series, but they used season two to wander off in a new direction which made little use of the chemistry between the mismatched police partners from different countries. In essence they lost the raison d'etre of the show, and the series became pretty much another same-old-same-old generic TV cop show, except with more mumbling.

What can you say about a series where the most interesting character is played by Shaggy from the Scooby-Doo movie?




ONN Exclusive: One-On-One Interview With God




Maitland Ward in a See-Through Dress at the Creativ PR Fashion Week in LA




The French President Loves An Enormous Butt Plug
This has been your Giant Green French Butt Plug update.

Stay tuned for the next Giant Pink Japanese Penis update here at Other Crap, your one-stop home for all enlarged ethnic sex toy info.




Renee Zellweger's face is totally unrecognizable
The good news is that she looks great - if it really is her.




Lindsay Armaou, Anna Passey & Lili Bordán topless in The Smoke (2014)




Full-frontal nudity from Amandine Gaymard & Hélène Viviès in Dans le pas de Léa (2012)




Florence Loiret Caille [Breasts] in Pilules Bleues (2014)




Marilyne Fontaine & Claire Tran [Breasts] in La tête sur les épaules (2013)




Losers Of Beer Pong Match Opened Fire On Fellow Texas Partygoers




Obvious finding of the day: "Sex invented by Scottish square dancing fish"




Poop Emoji Mask




Adam and Eve: Return to Paradise:

It's a Spanish reality show, similar to Dating Naked except without the blurring.




Abby Wake Nude in Kingdom [S1E2]




'Armed clowns' spread panic in French towns




Yes, this is a tree full of 13th century human penises and, no, it's not a joke




4 Famous Teams With Members They Don't Want You to Know | Cracked.com




6 Awesome High-Tech Ways to F*** With People on Halloween | Cracked.com




On the heels of Fox's 'Utopia,' here are some of TV's biggest flops




Oscar Pistorius jailed for five years




CONAN Monologue 10/20/14





Craig Ferguson's Monologue - 10/20/2014





An A to Z of Noah Webster's Finest Forgotten Words
There is a real word Obambulate, which does NOT mean "to walk around a golf course while ignoring pressing matters," but is actually pretty close to that.




Nymphomaniac: Director's Cut Teaser is Extremely NSFW
In the actual film, now on VOD, Charlotte Gainsbourg participated in a hard-core double-penetration porn scene without a body double, and both guys are pretty big. Her face is clearly visible in the same fame as her anus and genitalia. (Actually, I think you can see that scene in the teaser, but it goes by in a fraction of a second, along with several other forms of NSFW activity.)




6 Types Of Movies We Never Want To See Again
I'm not sure if "the sidequel" concept is really that bad. One of the best films ever made, Godfather II, is a sidequel, and that seems to have worked out OK.

The new season of Boardwalk Empire is also a sidequel, and I have not found it awkward or forced.




Sagarin's College Football Ratings Page
The eminence grise of sports computer ratings now ranks only SEC teams in the top five!

Furthermore:

Arkansas, which is last in the SEC West, is rated #32 in the nation.

Tennessee, which is nearly last in the SEC East and winless in conference play, is rated #30 in the nation.

South Carolina and Kentucky also have respectable rankings (#33 and #51).

In other words, every SEC team is considered a national powerhouse except poor ol' Vanderbilt.






Monday, October 20, 2014




Hot Model Extorted in Celebrity Hacking Scandal
Kind of an interesting story.

The "hacker" asked for the blackmail money to be placed in a public location - in cash, thus making it easy for cops to nab whoever picked up the money. (Most of these guys deal in Bitcoins or some other form of virtual money.) The money was physically picked up by a third party, so the hacker is still at large.

The article does not say whether the blackmailer released the pictures to the internet. The only gallery I saw had two topless photos, but in both cases her breasts were discreetly hidden by her arms, so that doesn't seem like something she would fear to have the world see, given that she's a model. The rest of the pics mostly consisted of the same sorts of standard modeling poses you'd see in a mainstream magazine.

Something in this story doesn't add up. If these modest examples are the pictures in question, why would the hacker think she'd be willing to pay to keep them private? If there are more explicit pictures, why didn't the hacker release them when the victim went to the police? (That would be the Piranha Brothers second extortion scam, aka "The Other Operation": if I DON'T get the money, I WON'T release the pictures.)




The Late Night TV Page - Talk Show Guest Listings
In re-runs this week: Letterman, Stewart, Colbert, Fallon, Meyers.

New shows: Ferguson (M-F), Conan (M-Thu), Kimmel (M-Thu)




How Ray Rice could be reinstated to the NFL within a month
The NFL should consider itself lucky he hasn't sued. Even under its new policies, the most Rice could have received as a first-time offender was a 6-game suspension, and it's debatable whether the new policies even apply to him. The six games have already passed, so it's likely that he'll be reinstated in any review conducted by an impartial arbitrator with either legal experience or the common sense God gave a goose, both of which are apparently lacking in Roger Goodell.

On the other hand, if criminal charges are pressed and he spends a few years in the slammer for assault, he might miss a few more games. I doubt if his wife is going to co-operate with that prosecution, given that he's the goose who lays the golden eggs for her. (I'm big on goose metaphor cliches today, but I haven't figured out how to work in "What's good for the goose ...")

On the third hand, the Ravens have already declared his contract null and void, so the real pending question is whether any NFL team(s) will be willing to accept the controversy which will be generated by hiring him. (Hell, Dan Snyder ought to be up for it. Supporting domestic abuse would actually seem kind of mild compared to overt racism.)




Kim Kardashian goes to Taco Bell to build up her butt size
I guess she looked in a mirror and thought her ass was getting a little scrawny, so she ran off for her ass-building regimen of 50 soft tacos and a Diet Pepsi.




Selena Gomez Drops Some Sexy Swimsuit Cleavage On Instagram




Full-frontal nudity from Léa Tissier in 'Victor Vaudou' [Short Film]




Harvard Liberals Hate New Campus Sex Laws
"In the past two years, overzealous efforts to regulate sexual conduct on campus have drawn criticism mainly from conservatives such as George Will. Ironically, in recent days, a couple of conservative commentators — Conn Carroll on Townhall.com and Heather Mac Donald in The Weekly Standard — have expressed qualified sympathy for this campaign as a way to discourage campus sex, restore chivalry, and vindicate the Victorian notion that women need to be protected from male lust."

The worst case scenario is this: two consenting drunken students have sex. By the definition prevailing in some jurisdictions, the man has raped the woman.

"In a particularly bizarre case at Occidental College, John Doe was expelled over a dorm room encounter with a young woman who was judged incapable of valid consent due to intoxication, even though, in her allegedly incapacitated state, the female student had texted Doe to ask if he had a condom and to discuss sneaking out of her dorm and into his, and texted another friend to say that she was about to have sex. John Doe was found responsible for misconduct despite being no less drunk than his accuser!"




Producers Allowed to Sue Actress for Refusing to Film Nude Sex Scene




Justin Bieber reportedly scolded for kicking around a soccer ball in the Vatican
I'll be the first to admit I was wrong. I didn't think he could be a bigger douche than he already was.

Apparently it is not possible to place an arbitrary upper limit on his douchiness. I now look forward to his future endeavors. But what else can he even do? He's already stretching his efforts into situations that sound like comedy punch lines from a Mel Brooks movie. Maybe he could piss out JFK's eternal flame, or take a shit on Nelson Mandela's grave or publicly sodomize Betty White.




Nicole Richie celebrated the replacement of her last natural body part over the weekend with a fancy no-food party at Bloomingdales.




Craft Brewer Buys All the Count Chocula, Cereal Lovers Confused and Sad




5 Things I Learned Smuggling Drugs Into Jail Under My Junk | Cracked.com




6 Insane but Convincing Fan Theories About Popular Movies | Cracked.com




5 TV Moments That Caused Bizarre Real-World Consequences | Cracked.com




Giant Vending Machine From 1948 (10 pics)
Fascinating! I still remember the automated Horn and Hardart restaurants, which looked a lot like the supermarket pictured here, but I don't remember ever having heard of a food store organized like this.




Jack the Ripper DNA analysis is WRONG, say experts 

A spokesperson for publishers Sidgwick & Jackson said: "The author stands by his conclusions. We are investigating the reported error in scientific nomenclature. However, this does not change the DNA profiling match and the probability of the match calculated from the rest of the haplotype data. The conclusion reached in the book, that Aaron Kosminski was Jack the Ripper, relies on much more than this one figure."

Note that the DNA evidence is only one of several reasons why Kosminski was considered to be the Ripper.

1. He was also supposedly identified by an eyewitness.

2. An internal report written by Melville Macnaghten, the Assistant Chief Constable of the London Metropolitan Police Service, says "Kosminski had a great hatred of women, especially of the prostitute class, & had strong homicidal tendencies."

3. Police did not have enough evidence to convict Kosminski because the alleged eyewitness refused to testify, but they kept him under constant surveillance until they found a justification to remove him from society for the rest of his life (which they could do without a trial, witnesses or evidence because, hey, it was the 19th century and somebody said the guy wasn't right in the head).

Also note that there seem to have been two Polish Jews with similar names committed to Colney Hatch Lunatic Asylum in the post-Ripper period. To make matters more confusing, they were the same age. One, Nathan Kaminsky, was committed in late 1888; the other, Aaron Kosminski, nee Aron Kozminski, the one with the alleged DNA match, entered Colney in 1891. It seems that these two men have frequently been confused, and that details of their lives have been conflated or intermingled by investigators. Thus, reports referring to one may actually be about the other.

As an example of the confusion, the recollection of Chief Inspector Swanson was that the suspect was returned to his brother’s house in Whitechapel where the City Police kept him under constant surveillance, whereupon this suspect was taken to Stepney Workhouse and from there he was sent to Colney Hatch lunatic asylum where he died shortly afterwards. He noted unequivocally that "Kosminski was the suspect."

That analysis was written some twenty years after the Ripper murders and the Chief Inspector's memory seems to have joined the two men into one. It was Kosminski whose brother had a house in Whitechapel, and it was Kosminski who went to Stepney before Colney, but it was Kaminsky who died shortly after being committed to the asylum. (Kosminski lived until 1919, and was in fact still alive when Inspector Swanson made those notes).

Given the tendency to confuse the two men, you have to view the above quote from Melville Macnaghten with a jaundiced eye as well. Kosminski seems to have been non-violent during nearly 30 years of confinement, but Kaminsky seems to have been extremely violent and had to be constantly restrained during his short, unhappy term in the lunatic asylum.




The Paris Butt Plug Is Dead. Vive La Paris Butt Plug
"Upon hearing of the damage McCarthy decided not to re-inflate the work because he “was worried about potential trouble if the work was put back up”. Considering a Parisian slapped him in the face a couple of times when the piece was unveiled, that’s probably a fair reaction. Reports are unclear on whether said Parisian challenged McCarthy to a duel, but we can probably assume that yes, he did."

Paul McCarthy is the (air quotes) artist (close air quotes) who created the green masterpiece:

As The Guardian pointed out:

"McCarthy is the Chapman brothers’ estranged dad. He is a fabulist of the grotesque. At his studio in Pasadena there is a naked shop dummy of President Obama. He has created subversive statues of Disney characters, wallowed in tomato ketchup for absurdist performances, and done awful things with giant pigs. His colossal black rubber statue of Pinocchio outside Tate Modern, with its long stiff nose and small round hole of a mouth, was far more overtly obscene than his Paris sex toy, which surely requires familiarity with the artifact in question before you can take offence. Yet I don’t remember anyone being shocked by the phallic nose of McCarthy’s Pinocchio. Why not?"

Why not, indeed? That is the question that defines the times in which we live. Surely if Shakespeare had lived in our day, he would have asked that rather than the shopworn "to be or not to be?"

This has been your Paris Butt Plug update.




Puppy-Sized Spider Surprises Scientist in Rainforest




Belarus's long national nightmare is over: the country's sausage is free of toilet paper
Roughly translated, Dr. Kingov said, "Free at last, Free at last. Thank God almighty we are free of toilet paper at last."

He was comparing Belarus to Russia where, he alleged, the meat still contains toilet paper.

Mind you, he has been known to make dubious statements in the past. He "has been accused of praising Hitler, and making anti-Semitic and anti-gay statements."




"Oldest genitals found" - ironically by New Scientist




Stéphanie Crayencour topless in Les hommes de l'ombre [S2E5]




Lola Naymark: full frontal and rear nudity in Au fil d'Ariane (2014)




Marie Denarnaud full frontal nudity in Une histoire banale (2014)
This is one of the more graphic nude scenes of 2014.




Bonnie Rotten: Tattooed Girl of Desire




Courtney Stodden is barely contained by her dress




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