Tuesday, December 10, 2013




California, home of the Drive Thru Nativities
Top line at the Drive-thru Nativity "Would you like some myrrh with that?"




Texan Pulls Sword & Demands Free Tacos




Police: Seattle barber stabs customer in testicles




7 News Stories That Are Clearly Just Horror Movie Premises | Cracked.com




5 Important Milestones of Adulthood Nobody Talks About | Cracked.com




5 Terrifying Festivals You Won't Believe Are Legal | Cracked.com




The 5 Most Hilariously Insane Secret Plots from History | Cracked.com




Lady Victoria Hervey Slight Bikini Slip in Miami




Tila Tequila says Hitler was NOT as bad as he was painted out to be
Oh, Dolfy? Lovely guy! You could always ask him over for dinner because he was a non-smoker. Not like FDR with that pretentious cigarette holder or Churchill with the stinky cigars.

One thing, though. You might not want to invite him if the dinner is a Seder.




Jay Leno's monologue, 12/9/13

Part 1


Part 2





Jimmy Fallon's monologue (12/9/13)

Part 1


Part 2





Conan's monologue - 12/10/13





Craig Ferguson's Monologue - 12/9/2013





David Letterman's monologue 12/9/13






Monday, December 09, 2013




Man alive after being uncovered by snowplow in Norway




Paris Hilton threatens Lindsay Lohan on Instagram after brother Barron Hilton is attacked

"'They will both pay for what they did,' Paris Hilton wrote on Instagram hours after her brother posted a photo of his bloodied face — injuries he says he got in an attack ordered by Lohan."




Mary will wear helmet in British Xmas parade
"We've got to consider that Mary will be riding a donkey on a public highway. And if she is going on a public highway, then she has to wear a riding hat."

QED




10 More Things You Never Noticed About The Wizard of Oz | Jay Scarfone




Swedish police on the hunt for buttock gunman, herring-flavored donuts




5 Badass Con Men Who Fooled the Experts There to Catch Them | Cracked.com




5 Behind the Scenes Details That Change How You See Movies | Cracked.com




5 BS News Stories That Fooled All Your Facebook Friends | Cracked.com




Benign obesity a myth, even if blood pressure, cholesterol 'healthy,' study says
"Obesity carries a higher risk of premature death compared to that of normal-weight people, regardless of cholesterol, blood pressure and blood-sugar readings."




The Late Night TV Page - talk show guest listings for the week beginning 12/9
Everybody is working this week.




Californication Will Be Canceled After Its Seventh Season

"Showtime's geriatric porno Californication will end its run in 2014, after a final 12-episode season commencing in April. The show will take a meta turn in its final season, centering on the writer's room of Hank Moody's crappy TV show, 'Santa Monica Cop.' There is also a good chance David Duchovny will have sex."




A mysterious law that predicts the size of the world's biggest cities
"The city with the largest population in any country is generally twice as large as the next-biggest, and so on. Incredibly, Zipf's law for cities has held true for every country in the world, for the past century."

Every country? What the fuck, man? I tested it on the first countries I thought of (places where I lived, or worked for a very long time), and the ratio of the top two cities didn't work for any of them except the USA and Norway. And it wasn't even close.

UK: greater London is about four times as large as greater Manchester.

Peru: Lima is something like ten times larger than Arequipa

Hungary: Budapest is about ten times the size of Debrecen

Mexico: Mexico City is at least five times as large as the next largest city, possibly as much as ten times.

Australia: Melbourne and Sydney are about the same size.

Austria: Vienna is many, many times larger than Graz (six to seven times)

Chile: Santiago is many, many times larger than Concepcion or Valparaiso (about six times)

I don't get it.




Kaili Thorne Topless and Bare Bottomed at the Beach for a Healthy Thorne Family Competition




Monika Jagaciak Topless in Black and White for Red Blooded Polski Hotness




Cheer Up, Harry Styles, You Just Had Sex With Kendall Jenner

"Sure there’s some natural remorse after nailing a Kardashian. That’s the cosmos confirming you’re going to die prematurely in some grisly manner. Still, if you’re Q score is high enough to bone eighteen-year-old Kendall Jenner on a gratis package in New York, you ought be wearing a shit-eating grin from ear to ear. You didn’t join a fucking boy band to make music, you sad mascara-wearing sack. You’ve notched Taylor Swift and now Kendall Jenner. You’re one Madonna’s busty daughter away from an epic deflowering trifecta. They’ll sing songs about you, I mean, real singers who can sing actual notes. It’ll blow your mind. Now quit looking askance like you’ve got VD and act like a fucking king."




Selena Gomez Dropped the F-Bomb on Stage, the Floozy (VIDEO)




Toni Garrn’s Tits Might Be Dating Leonardo Dicaprio




Miley Cyrus Performs the Nutcracker

We all knew that would happen. The only question was whose nuts she would crack.




Funny video: ▶ Ron Burgundy's Colleagues Come Clean from Anchorman 2, Anderson Cooper, Wolf Blitzer and Chris Cuomo




Adam Sandler Tops Forbes' 2013 List Of The Most Overpaid Actors
I don't mean to mount a defense of Sandler, but I wonder how much Harrison Ford made for Paranoia, or Russell Crowe for Broken City. Unless they worked for free, it's had to imagine how Sandler could have been a worse value.




Roy Halladay retires as a Toronto Blue Jay
In 2010-2011 he was still arguably the best in the game, but his back and shoulder have gone on him and he has been less than a shadow of his old self (his ERA was 6.82 last year, which would be a pretty bad year even for Jose Lima, let alone Halladay).

Will he make the HOF? Dunno. He was great, but not for very long. OK, one might say the same about Koufax, and the two of them have very similar lifetime winning percentages, but Koufax led the league in ERA five times, wins thrice, W-L% twice, WHIP four times and K's four times. That's 18 important lines in bold print. He won three Cy Youngs and an MVP.

Halladay never led the league in ERA (I would not have guessed that) or strikeouts. He led once in WHIP, once in W-L% and twice in wins. That's not a lot of black ink.

Halladay did win two Cy Youngs plus two second-place finishes and had a sterling reputation among fans, writers and fellow players. Will that be enough? Maybe, but he's not a shoo-in. Baseball-Reference says: "Hall of Fame Standards - 45 points, Average HOFer - 50"




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