It was, for the most part, another week of jobber games, with the big powers posting huge victories over their designated patsies. Two of those are worth discussing.

James Madison posted an outrageous 87-3 victory over the mighty Wagner Seahawks. What a day for their placekicker, who got to kick twelve extra points. That score makes it sound like JMU piled it on, but I took a deep dive into that game, and they absolutely did not. They played everyone, and they just kept scoring. They used eleven different receivers, and none of them caught more than three passes. Seven different players rushed the ball. They scored three touchdowns on punt returns, tying an NCAA record. Their offense was just unstoppable. You may remember that they somewhat unexpectedly made the playoffs last year, and while they didn’t win, they managed to score 34 points against Oregon with 509 yards of offense, so they know how to move the ball.

Miami took a narrow 77-0 lead into the fourth quarter. The teams then agreed to shorten the final quarter by five minutes, apparently citing the Geneva Convention. I’m not fuckin’ witcha. That really happened. The announcers always say, “It looks like they’re not going to give up.” Florida A&M said “fuck that” and went home early.

In real games:

Speaking of Oregon, they have proved to be the disappointment of the year so far. They started the season at #2 in the preseason rankings. They looked vulnerable against Boise State in game one, causing a plunge to #6. They lost this week, although favored by 23.5 against unranked Oklahoma State. It’s not like they lost to a surprising powerhouse. Oklahoma State lost last week to fucking Tulsa! This week’s loss dropped the Ducks to 21st in the polls – and Sagarin says they’re overrated!

#4 Texas made an improbable comeback against #1 THE Ohio State University. They trailed by twenty going into the final quarter, but scored three TDs in that final period while shutting THE down. Before that game, AP No. 1 teams had been 197-0 when holding a 20-point fourth-quarter lead. Since nobody in the country roots for THE Ohio State University unless they either attended the school or live in Columbus, about 99% of the nation was as thrilled as I was with my Longhorns. Hook ’em Horns!

(Why am I cheering for my grad school instead of my alma mater? I went to Fordham. How bad are they? Well, they have about the same chance of winning as The Really Rottens in Scooby’s Laff-A-Lympics. I’m not exaggerating. According to Wikipedia, the Really Rottens had a record of 2-21-1 on that series. Fordham’s record was a nearly identical 3-21 over the past two seasons.)

Michigan got a measure of redemption this week after last week’s embarrassing win-not-win debacle against Western Michigan. The Wolverines defeated #11 Oklahoma. So the eleventh-rated team in the nation did worse against the Wolverines than Western Michigan.

As I mentioned last week, the spread on the Texas Tech game seemed absurd. #13 Tech was favored by nearly four touchdowns over Oregon State. Tech did win, but Oregon State was actually ahead early in the fourth.

#19 Washington struggled in what was supposed to be a jobber game against Utah State. The Huskies came into the game favored by 28.5 against a team that had just lost to an FCS opponent, but the final score was 16-14. Utah State is part of the newly reconstituted Pac-12, which is not back up to 12 yet, but has managed to cobble together eight mediocre football teams – six more than last year!

#21 Iowa, 14-point favorites, needed two last-quarter field goals to overcome Iowa State, including a 42-yarder to break the tie with 15 seconds left.

Boise State beat Memphis 38-20. They were effectively the two leading contenders for the Group-of-Six CFP route, and Memphis actually led 20-17 at halftime before Boise pulled away. The NCAA specifically singled it out as potentially important to the playoff picture.

Illinois State beat Northern Illinois 28-24. That’s an FCS team beating an FBS team. That’s the fourth FCS-over-FBS upset already this season. Last year, FCS teams managed only four such victories all season. The jobbers are fighting back: Tarleton State over Bowling Green, Idaho State over Utah State, The Citadel over Charlotte, and now Illinois State over Northern Illinois. The most chaotic was The Citadel’s 43-41 victory over Charlotte in three OT’s.

Useless fact of the week #1: Sagarin’s two best college football teams are both in Indiana. That sentence sounds as though somebody accidentally loaded the basketball ratings.

Useless fact o’ the week #2: Every football team in the new Pac-12 is “Something State.”

This week’s human/computer comparison:

Last week’s overview