Satan’s latest scheme: plant-based burgers

It’s been a tough stretch for the Prince of Darkness. At one time he was willing to challenge God himself, leading a rebellion of fallen angels in a battle for control of existence. And now? Plant-based burgers.

When that fails, he already has his next plan on the docket. His laboratories are busy, removing the gluten from everything. Yes, Satan is against gluten, that precious protein that God himself placed in our wheat.

11 thoughts on “Satan’s latest scheme: plant-based burgers

  1. I’m surprised and a little tickled that this has so many more comments than the nudity links! The Impossible Burger is amazing!

  2. I’ve had both the Impossible burger and the Beyond Meat burger. They both taste more like beef than any textured vegetable protein burger I’ve ever had. I don’t think either one tasted like a really great beef burger, but they were good enough that if I was served one without knowing it was a veggie burger I probably wouldn’t notice it was fake meat – I’d just think it was a fair-to-middling burger.

    To me, that’s quite an achievement, since all the veggie burgers I’ve had previously were very clearly not beef.

  3. There’s the rub… “if you are adding a bunch of condiments anyway.”

    What does it taste like PLAIN (burger and bun?) Can you tell the difference then? It is not yet available in my area so I can’t try it.

    But I will try it. I just won’t be expecting much.

    1. Here’s what I predict. If you just eat one, you’ll think Yeah, that was totally a burger. If you eat one and an actual cowburger side by side, they’ll both be good, but you’ll be able to tell a difference.

      My boss is a serious vegan and his take was : WHY do they want it to taste like meat?

  4. I was a vegetarian for many years and tried all kinds of texturized vegetable protein concoctions but none of them were as close to the real thing as these “beyond” burgers especially if you are adding a bunch of condiments anyway.

  5. Just tried a beyond meat burger yesterday. I wouldn’t have known the difference if I hadn’t ordered it myself.

      1. I grew up in cattle country. CORN FED cattle in Nebraska. The jury is still out.

        1. I also grew up in Nebraska and have had an impossible burger at a couple different restaurants now. Agree with Scoop… When done right it’s indistinguishable.

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