Danish bull semen? I wish he had called. I could have sent him some. I have a whole refrigerator full, and I’d do just about anything for ol’ Jongie, my frat brother.

(Man that guy was tough when it came to rush week. Talk about hazing! Only the toughest pledges survived getting fed to his pigs. But all in all … best exchange student ever!)

“The development marks the completion of a head-spinning 48 hours. Trump, on Tuesday, took to Twitter to call off the stimulus talks entirely, sending markets into a dive. Eight hours later he called for piecemeal legislation to address the economic hardship created by the coronavirus pandemic — something Democrats have repeatedly rejected. By Wednesday night, Mnuchin called Pelosi and said the President was interested in coming back to the table, according to a person familiar with their conversation. Now, the President is once again open to a bigger deal.”

Investigators probe ‘possible ecological catastrophe’ in Russia’s Kamchatka region

“Russian investigators said Saturday they were looking into “a possible ecological catastrophe” in the eastern Kamchatka region, after scores of dead sea creatures washed up in one of it bays and surfers reported burns to their eyes and throats.”

What more can go wrong this year?

It’s difficult to imagine anyone in the future looking back at 2020 with nostalgia.

Gates says Trump was serious about making his then 34-year-old daughter his potential vice-president, returning to the theme and even carrying out public polling.

“We all knew Trump well enough to keep our mouths shut and not laugh. He went on: ‘She’s bright, she’s smart, she’s beautiful, and the people would love her!'”

…. and, according to them, that’s why they should not be released.

Based upon this novel legal theory, law enforcement should only be allowed to investigate the totally innocent, since any evidence exposing the guilty would cause them irreparable harm.

Oddly enough, all candidates for the presidency in modern history have released their returns and it caused them no harm of any kind. Gee, I wonder why Trump is so special.

Only days ago, after asserting that “slavery was a necessary evil,” Tom Cotton was defending himself of against charges of being racist. Now, the Arkansas senator has found himself embroiled in yet another controversy after telling The Arkansas Democrat-Gazette that “the Holocaust was also a necessary evil.” Appearing earlier today on the Fox New Channel’s morning show Fox and Friends, Cotton justified his remarks, arguing that “absent the Holocaust, Israel would not be a country today.”

WTF? C’mon, Joe. Even with your history classes so many decades in the past, you must realize that is wrong. Hell, eight Presidents owned slaves while they were in the office of the presidency, and four others owned slaves at other times. Even the beloved FDR approved internment camps for Americans of Japanese heritage.

And then there were Andrew Jackson and Woodrow Wilson, two flagrant, unapologetic racists.

Trump may be the worst one since Wilson, although he has some competition even there, but he’s certainly not the first, and given the looming presence of Ol’ Hickory, Trump doesn’t even have a good claim to be the worst.

Rudy re-tweets a wacky conspiracy theory about Ilhan Omar somehow being a terrorist four years before she was born.

Per AP, which originated the photo:

“A woman recruit of the Somali Army checks her automatic weapon at a military training campus at Halane, Mogadishu, on Feb. 25, 1978. On the right is her instructor. President Siad Barre said at a news conference that regular Somali military units have not yet been dispatched in the Ogaden region to avoid international complications. (AP Photo)”

Omar was born in 1982.

To wit: “Kim tried to involuntarily commit me

I like it!

And it gives Trump another slogan option as well. “Vote for Trump. Saner than the other guy.”

Kanye West has turned on his own family in the midst of what we’re told is a major bipolar episode … targeting Kris Jenner, comparing his life to the movie “Get Out” and accusing Kim Kardashian of trying to commit him to a mental hospital.

In a series of tweets Monday night, Kanye revealed his wife’s plan to get him help … just 24 hours after a bizarre and, at times, incoherent campaign rally in South Carolina. Kanye said, “Kim was trying to fly to Wyoming with a doctor to lock me up like on the movie Get Out because I cried about saving my daughters life yesterday.”

That was actually one of his more coherent assertions. Some of them are just full Nicholson in The Shining. Check this one out:

“I put my life on my God that Norths mom would never photograph her doing playboy and that’s on God. I’m at the ranch … come and get me.”

“Over the course of four rambling hours of interviews on Tuesday, the billionaire rapper turned sneaker mogul revealed:”

  • His party will be called the Birthday Party
  • He has never voted
  • “Planned Parenthoods have been placed inside cities by white supremacists to do the Devil’s work.”
  • He’s suspicious of a coronavirus vaccine, terming vaccines “the mark of the beast.”
  • He was sick with Covid-19 in February.
  • He envisions a White House organizational model based on the secret country of Wakanda in Black Panther.

Fine ideas. I’m subscribing to his newsletter.

Fuck those malingerers with the sniffles who just hang out for the Jello.

Also, he wants the burns unit to report only the patients with burns.

Attorney General William P. Barr will nominate Jay Clayton to serve as the new U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York.

There is a criminal investigation into Deutsche Bank currently occurring in SDNY. Deutsche Bank is Trump’s principal lender and possesses all of his financial data. Jay Clayton counted Deutsche Bank as a client and defended them in a massive money laundering scandal.

There is also an ongoing criminal investigation into Rudy Giuliani, which will presumably disappear when a Trump sycophant takes over the office.

So … usual corrupt shenanigans.

Except for one thing. The current guy did not actually step down!

So … usual chaos.

UPDATE:

UPDATE #2:

Berman has cleaned out his desk. Barr and Berman seem to have reached a compromise. Berman’s trusted deputy will continue in the US Attorney position until the Senate can confirm a replacement. I assume the Democrats will delay the confirmation of Jay Clayton as long as possible

That Mittens! What a wimp, taking an anti-racism stance. Guy needs to man up if he wants to be a true, macho Republican.

To be fair to Mitt, maybe he’s just out of practice at kicking black asses. There just aren’t many to kick in Utah. Maybe he doesn’t even realize that some people aren’t white.

“Oh, dear, are they saying black LIVES, with a v. I thought they were talking about black LIES – you know, like little white lies and big black ones.”

44 percent (!!) of Republicans believe that Bill Gates is plotting to use a mass COVID-19 vaccination campaign as a pretext to implant microchips in billions of people and monitor their movements.”

This is incredibly dumb. There’s no need for a super-duper-top-secret-sci-fi implant to monitor your movements. Pretty much everyone has a cell phone.

So if a vaccination is developed, does this mean that all the people dumb enough to believe that idea will get the disease? This sounds like one of those rare cases where God and Darwin are in complete agreement.